Short-timer...

8 days. Only 8 more days (6 business days if anyone's counting) and then I'm ON VACATION. That's right. I'm taking a (very cheap because I'm ultra poor) vacation to Sunriver, Oregon.

That's assuming I make it to next week, of course...

Because after last week, this is not an automatic. It was rough... both personally and professionally.

Let's start with professionally. Tuesday was by far the worst day I've ever had at this job. It was awful. I couldn't get caught up, everything I was doing blew up in my face and the paper was 3 hours late getting out. It was horrible. This is the first time since working here that the paper has been late because I couldn't get my shit together. Of course, it was just way too much work for one person but that is besides the point. And not only did I miss deadline I ripped everyone within earshot a new one if they even dared to bother me. Not the way to act when you're "supposed" to be a professional... ugh.

The next day, the boss called me out on it. And if she had just done that it would've been fine. But she had to go and add a bunch of stuff that was not true. Basically she told me that I wasn't good at my job and maybe I should consider a different job since deadlines seem to be an issue.

Um, excuse me?

I basically told her (in not so many words) to shove it up her butt and fire me if that's how she felt.

Again, probably not the best approach... but I was pissed. Well, way beyond pissed but you get the idea. After all, I meet incredibly unfair deadlines on a monthly basis. And the paper has never been late because of me.

*growl*

After storming out of the office and calming down (and crying a lot) I decided that I did need to apologize for ripping her head off the day before, but that I needed to address her other "complaints", because they were unfair and untrue. So, I went back in and did just that. I explained (fairly rationally, given the circumstances) why I was so upset by what she said. I tried to keep my personal feelings out of it and just give the facts the way I saw them... and a rational, thoughtful conversation ensued. I think it will make things better in the long run, but we will see. So far, I still have a job and she's been pretty decent since then (even getting her ads in on time... shocking, I know).

So it seems that professionally it is no harm, no foul for now. But I'm still looking for something that pays better...

OK... now on to the hard one. Personally...

Some background first. RR is ADHD (which I've talked about a little bit before) and has a massive sensitivity to sugar. Which makes things difficult because sugar is in everything. Seriously. Start reading labels and you'll see what I mean.

The ADHD can be tough. Sometimes it totally catches me off balance because, of course, my brain doesn't function the way his does. However, the more I get to know him the easier that part becomes. He has certain ways he does things and as long as I can deliver the info in a way he can process all is well.

The sugar thing is another thing all together. Because I'm not with RR 24/7 I don't know what he's gotten into food-wise that day. I work on the assumption that he's been strict with his diet because otherwise I just end up being a nag... but sometimes he is not. And sometimes he eats something that he thinks is OK and it ends up not being that way.

And when that happens he mentally jumps down the rabbit hole. Well, maybe falls is a better word. And let me tell you, that hole is deep...

And it affects us pretty dramatically for a few days which is rough. He becomes a very brittle and needy person and I get very distant and annoyed by it, which makes him more needy and more brittle... You see my problem.

And by brittle I mean that something that would have elicited no comment the day before all of a sudden becomes a flashpoint for WWIII. It's tough to deal with, I'm not going to lie. And when he is in that place he really pushes my buttons and I'm not good about walking away from that. So then major blow-ups occur. And it's a vicious cycle until he's back to normal... which can be a day or it can be a week. It just depends...

We need a way to get through those times... but there are times when I wonder if it is worth it. He has some major upsides... but this is a pretty major downside. Right now it's 85% good, 15% bad. I'd like to get it more to a 95%/5%. He's working on it, but sometimes it's hard to know what to do when faced with that situation.

I'm not ready to call it quits or anything like that. But they are things I need to consider if this is going to be very long-term. But, it did make for a long week last week...

But I see blue sky on the horizon...

And vacation is only a few days away...