"Stalking" is such a negative word...

I prefer the term "keeping in touch".


I have a friend. His name is Farmer... you may have heard of him?

This is him with a gun... and a goatee.

Wisely I'm standing WAY behind him while he's armed...

I wonder if he still has the goatee?

Anywho... he's missing.

Every year from June until September (I hope only September) my friend Farmer is replaced by a walking and (sometimes) talking zombie that looks and sounds remarkably like him.

I think the way it works is that the zombie replacement runs around going non-stop 24 hours a day (after all, zombies don't need to sleep... they're already the undead) getting things done that no mere human could possibly do in a 24 hour period. While the zombie is working, I suspect that the real Farmer slinks off to some Caribbean beach... enjoying the sights and drinking MaiTais.

I have tried conversing with the zombie stand-in, but it's just not the same. Just when I'm about to get to the drama-riddled part of my story it tells me that it has another call coming in and then I never hear from it again.

A coping technique that Farmer taught it before he left? We may never know...

CPSL and other things that annoy me...

I find it fascinating when grown men (well into their 60's) can't conduct themselves like an adult.

CPSL (crazy pot-smoking landlord) was gone for a few days. When he hadn't come back on the 1st, I decided to wait and give the check directly to him because the other "adults" that live there are seriously suspect. So, when I arrived home after 9pm on the 2nd I saw that his van was now there... and in my parking spot. I figured he was using that closer spot to unload his van, so I didn't worry about it and just parked across the street and went inside and went to bed.

The next morning when I left for work, no one was up yet in that household. When I got home from work that afternoon he was still in my parking spot... plus he had left a note in my door saying:
You need to stop putting illegal stuff in the recycling bin. They are threatening to stop my service. Rent was due on the 1st.

Technically, my rent is not late until after the 4th of the month... by his own paperwork. And, I don't use his recycling bin. I take it to work and dump it there. And he was still in my parking spot. So you can understand why I was a bit miffed when I went to drop the check off. I explained to him (in small words, so he could understand through the pot-haze) that I didn't use the recycle bin and that if their service was in jeopardy then it was their own (damn) fault. I also pointed out to him that I had from the 1st until the 4th to pay my rent, by his own paperwork. Understandably, he really didn't have much to say on those 2 subjects.

I then asked him if he was planning on moving his van out of my parking space. He replied: well, now that you've paid the rent I'll go ahead and move it. I turned around, walked right up to him, looked down at him (he's a short, silly thing) and said: what are you? 5 years old?

I mean, really... so, what? If I didn't pay the rent you were going to *gasp* park in my spot? By the way, I have paid first and last so even if I just gave you notice I'm still paid for the month.

Apparently that thought hadn't occurred to him. I swear, the idiocy of people sometimes astounds me.

Needless to say, I'm still looking for a new place... 

Why would anyone want more than one?

I find all types of religion fascinating... even though I don't really practice any particular religion. But I must admit, one religion I know almost nothing about is the Muslim religion.

So, the other day, when my friend Engineer was explaining certain aspects of his religion I was extremely curious and at first a little disgruntled. Engineer is a friend of mine from Pakistan who is living here in the US and getting his master's degree. He is married... but it was an arranged marriage.

I know, I had the same reaction...

Arranged? Are you out of your mind? But he assures me that he is very happy with the arrangement, which is good. Also, over 50% of marriages here in America end in divorce, so maybe we (as a people) aren't the best at picking our own mates, either. I'm not sure what the divorce rate is in Pakistan, but I have a feeling it is much less than that.

Plus, with their marriages there are certain rules that the parties must adhere to... and if one or the other is not meeting those requirements that is grounds for divorce. So it's not like you're stuck with some loser who refuses to put any effort into it... which is good.

But that wasn't what had me so interested the other day. Engineer was explaining that in Islam it is possible for a man to have more than one wife... in fact, he can have up to four, apparently. My jaw made an audible noise when it hit the desk. I was outraged. How can this be? And, of course, my first questions were: 1. How many husbands can a woman have? and 2. Why only 4? I mean, if you're going to have multiple wives, why put a limit on it? Seriously.

As for the first question... women only get one husband. Wait a minute... that doesn't seem fair. But then Engineer informed me that the man can't enter into a second (or third or forth) marriage until he has absolute permission from the first. Oh, and whatever the first wife has, all other wives must be provided for the exact same. So if wife #1 is living in a 4,000 sq ft home then wife #2 gets the exact same. Can you imagine how spendy that would be? Holy crap.

I'm going to venture a guess that not many men get to exercise that particular option... just sayin'. I just can't imagine many wives going yeah, sure, go find yourself a 2nd... but maybe that is just me? After all, we all know I don't share well.

For the second question (why only 4) he really didn't have an answer for. That one still baffles me. But, whatever. A lot of different things in a lot of different religions baffle me. We'll just add it to the collection.

And then we got on the subject of temporary marriages (it's like dating, but with a contract) but that's a whole 'nuther blog...

Everyone loves a parade...

I decided that since I wasn't able to make it down to Sunriver to spend the 4th with the fam that Flash, the pups and I were going to be in the Gleneden Beach parade instead. This is a fun little community parade that anyone can sign up and be in. There are prizes given for Best Float, Best Animal, Best Car, Best Entry 9 & Under, Best Band, Most Unique and Judge's Choice.

So, on Saturday I headed up to where Flash is boarded to get the animals ready for the parade. When I pulled Flash out of the pasture he looked like this:

I don't see the problem, mom. Mud is awesome...

So I shaved him up, gave him a proper bridle path and dispatched his goat-like whiskers.

Heheheh... that tickles.

Then it was bath time.

Holy crap that water was cold!!

It was a toss-up as to who was actually more wet by the time the bath was done. But, mission accomplished... I had a clean-ish horse.

Then the shoer showed up to do his feet, which needed it badly. And after that I gave him some dewormer because he was due. I then threw some hay out in the pasture and turned him loose so I could work on the dogs. Well, one dog in particular. 

Noelle had been molting chunks of hair all over my house so I decided that while I had the clippers out I would shave her as well. I don't have any before or after pics, but when I was done it looked like she had spawned 2 more dogs. There was a LOT of hair on the ground.

I was just about to leave when I noticed Flash was acting weird. He was biting at his flanks and laying down then getting up again, then pawing at the ground and then laying down again. It looked like he was starting to have a bout of colic. This is a VERY bad thing in the horsey world. So I threw a halter on him, called Farmer for some advice (because I have never had a horse in distress like this before) and started walking him. Farmer told me that I needed to keep walking him until his appetite came back and he had pooped. So up and down the street we went... 

Mom... I don't feel so good.

And after all that work he had rolled in the mud and gotten dirty again... figures.

Eventually, after a few hours, he started eating again and eventually we got poop. Usually I'm hoping Flash will hold it, this time I couldn't wait until he pooped... the smelly signal of all is well.

So, with that little crisis over it was time to go home and finish prepping my tack for the parade in the morning. By midnight I was exhausted and gratefully fell into my bed for some much needed sleep.

The next morning it was a mad dash to get the pups, the tack and myself loaded into the trailer. With that mission accomplished I went to go pick up Flash. As I was driving up the road to the spot that I use as my turn-around I was daydreaming and missed it completely. It's a pretty narrow road and my truck and trailer are a long combination so I continued up the road looking for another driveway where I could execute my turn-around. 

I thought I had found one so I pulled in and then started backing the trailer out. Then WHAM... I had backed the trailer into a tree. CRAP. Not the best start to my morning. Plus I had just scared the crap out of the couple who's tree it was I had backed into. I apologized profusely, checked to see if there was any damage (both the trailer and the tree were fine as far as I could see at that time) and proceeded up the road further to find a better turn-around spot.

I finally got turned around and got Flash loaded. I was doing my visual inspection on my way back to the truck when I noticed this... 

Pretty sure that is NOT how that is supposed to look...

Yeah, the back of the trailer was fine... the hitch? Not so much... CRAP. I'll need to get that fixed before I head out for a ride again.

We made it to the parade grounds finally. The judges came around to take a look at all the entries. Flash and the pups poured on the cuteness factor.

I am adorable... there is no denying it.

I just want this stoopid bow outta my tail...

But you're right. I also look exceedingly adorable...

We ended up winning the trophy for "Best Animal".  Success!!

And then it was time to be in the parade. There were people everywhere lining the street and cheering. It was so much fun.

All in all, not a bad 4th of July...

The secret of success...

I was at my usual Tuesday night haunt, talking with Lab a few nights ago.

Lab lost his wife a few years ago to cancer... and I know the loss is hard for him. She was a major factor in his life for 30 years. They didn't always get along, but they had a deep connection that lasted throughout their entire marriage. She was his other half. And I envy that he has had that...

Then I think about some other friends of mine who are going through very rough times in their marriage... and each side has valid points but I'm not sure they're ever going to be able to meet in the middle.

So I wonder... what makes some marriages work and some fail so miserably?

I think BooBoo (my sis) said it best: you either grow together or you grow apart. A bit simplified, perhaps, but in my opinion right on the money. Ex-hub and I, when we were first together, did lots of things together... we played soccer, went out with friends and fam, did date night and were generally having a good time together. As years went by, this all went by the wayside. He just never wanted to go out and do anything together... he was far more interested in sitting in front of the TV than spending any type of quality time with me... and we grew apart.

BooBoo and her Hbf did the exact opposite... while on their 6 month tour of SE Asia they grew together. It's only a matter of time before they pull the trigger and tie the knot... and they will do well together. They compliment each other very nicely. I think that is a precious thing and hard to find... that person that compliments you.

Farmer was my exact opposite... we just couldn't find that common ground to meet in the middle. If I'm looking at something one way guaranteed Farmer is looking at it exactly the opposite way.

Wulfe and I, on the other hand, were way too much alike... which led to it's own set of problems. We would react the same and sometimes that would cause a very minor problem to escalate into something it didn't need to be. We were both prone to overreaction. As friends, however, this is not the case... so again, perhaps it comes down to how I handle things when in a relation-ship vs. a friend-ship. Still a work in progress...

As I study those relation-ships around me that seem to be successful (and I say seem to be because you never really know what goes on between 2 people) I notice that there is a common thread between them all...

1. A mutual respect for each others individuality... a willingness to say I know this about you and I love the fact that this is a part of your personality. (I am guilty of trying to force people to be what I would like them to be rather than accepting who they are... which is very selfish and something that I'm working on.)

2. A willingness to make the relationship a priority above all else. This, of course, will ebb and flow depending on what's going on at the time... and some people will read this and think I mean that I feel I need to be top priority at all times. That isn't what I'm saying here. I'm talking about the relationship, not me... 2 very different things. You can be far apart and still have your relationship be your priority.

3. A willingness to look for the positive, not the negative. Farmer and Wulfe have both accused me of a lack in this area.... i.e. if there are 10 different ways to take something that someone has said I will automatically take the worst view of it. Um... guilty as charged. Although I am trying with all my heart to not be that way anymore. I think you have to be willing to give the person who means the most to you a benefit of the doubt. They shouldn't have to prove themselves to you again and again.

Of course, these are just my observations. And I'm sure there is much more that I'm leaving out, but I'm just covering the basics here.

The bottom line is still just what my sister said it was: you either grow together or you grow apart. I'm hoping to find someone, some day, to grow together with...

The great divide...

4th of July is rapidly approaching... which is good and bad.

Last year was a fun 4th of July, spent with Farmer (who these days is completely MIA due to an overload of work and not enough cooperating weather) and Bff, who came up to visit when I was living there. We ate, drank and were merry. Good times were had by all... and I didn't feel bad that I wasn't home celebrating with the fam.

This year is a little different. This year the fam is in Sunriver to celebrate the 4th and to have a fam vacation. Those I hate to miss out on. Especially since there is a family-wide tennis tournament to decide who will lift the coveted (and dented) Venerable Vassal of Victory as winners of the tourny.

Unfortunately, my finances will not allow this little vacation, even though I get Monday off. And I feel even more divided from my family... which makes me sad. I hate being the only one that has to say I won't make it because I just can't afford the gas money to get there. But, I'm behind on some bills and the only way to catch up (and try to save for a move that will happen at some point) is to buckle down and not really spend any extraneous money.

There is a good side, though. Down here at the coast there is a 4th of July parade that anyone can be in. I'm going to dress up my horse and my dogs and be in the parade, I've decided. It doesn't cost me anything and it should be a lot of fun. Plus I have good company here and I'm sure it will be a very fun weekend... just like last weekend was.

I just wish it wasn't one or the other... I'd like to do both. Oh well, maybe next year...

He's just not that into you...

Watched this movie the other night. It was fascinating... and actually pretty dead-on accurate. At least as far as my limited experience goes.

Well... maybe "limited" isn't the best choice of words. I have been around the dating scene for a while now (both pre-marriage and post-divorce) so I guess I can offer a fairly educated opinion on this subject.

OK... moving on.

The gist of the movie is this: If a guy is into you, he'll let you know. Period. If he says "Hey, let's do this again" and then you never hear from him again, you know that he's just not that into you. It must be man-speak for "that was the most retched thing ever. I can't believe I lived through it" ... or something to that effect.

Bff encountered this the other day. She has been chatting via email with a guy. It seemed that there was a fair bit of interest on both sides. He mentioned getting together for coffee on a particular day. Bff said she would like that. He says he'll let her know more detail later, then proceeds to drop off the face of the earth until that day has come and gone. He then reappears after that and picks up as if nothing has transpired. What is that all about?

Look, men who read this blog, I'm going to give it to you straight. If you're interested, say so. If not, so be it but don't string people along. It's just rude.

Anyway, bottom line is this: Don't pursue after someone who just isn't that into you. Wisely for Bff, she kicked his ass in a game of online Scrabble and called it a day...