And the winner is....

Well, I hope everyone had a much better weekend than I did.

I spent the weekend curled up in the fetal position groaning in pain. Not a good time. Word on the street is that it was very nice outside and that fun was had by all. I'll have to take their word for it. I think I was awake for around 3 hours on Sunday and maybe 4 or 5 on Monday. Tuesday I had to rally and do 4 "pooper snoopers". UGH!!

OK... I promised updates, so here they are:

Date number 3 was on Friday night. He's a tennis pro that is originally from Iran. Nice guy, very good looking and, as luck would have it, went to high school with the bff. He was a senior when she was a freshman. So far, so good.

We met for dinner and had some wonderful conversation. The only "red flag" was that he was telling me about his "arranged marriage" he had decided against. That wasn't the red flag though. The red flag was that this woman flew half way across the world (from Iran), lived with him (though he swears they didn't do anything) and then after a few months had decided it wouldn't work. That was a few weeks ago. Apparently she's still in the states in LA. Awkward, but the date ended OK with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Date number 4 was on Saturday night with a project manager. He had emailed earlier in the week about a concert that he was interested in seeing. So we agreed to meet around 4pm for dinner and some conversation before we headed into town for the concert.

He was 10 minutes late, but looked just like his picture which was a good thing. Conversation seemed to be pretty good to start, but as time went on I started to wonder a little bit. He was a bit hard to read and not super good at keeping up his end of the chit chat. It felt like pulling teeth at some points during the date. Dinner was good and then we headed into town. Once at the concert we had to sit through 2 really bad under cards (painful!!). All the while he kept asking me if I was doing OK and if I wanted to go. I wasn't sure how to take this.... I mean, was he trying to get rid of me? Not sure...

The band came on and they were actually pretty good (Detroit Cobras if you ever have a chance to catch them play). Afterward, he walked me to my car, gave me a hug and sent me on my way. Did I mention that he basically power walked the whole way there? Again, not sure... got a weird vibe at the end.

So... 4 dates. 2 pretty good. 1 OK. And 1 really bad. I guess we'll wait and see who calls for round two.

Coming soon....

My friends...

Family business has picked up quite a bit, so the "pooper snooper" has been on high alert (and very busy). I have a post in the works and will update you with the outcomes of the other 2 dates.

Have a great memorial weekend.... I'll be out riding my horses. I wish you the same kind of fun :)

Let the games.... begin

This week is shaping up to be one of the most interesting I've had in a long while. I have back to back to back to back dates... that started Wednesday night.

So, 2 down... 2 to go.

The first date was with and ex-Airforce guy who is now divorced and raising 2 kids. This is one that I wasn't super excited about, but rules are rules. And the rule is... if they ask, are between the ages of 33 and 45 and don't seem to be the serial killer type then you have to say yes to the date.

We went to a restaurant I had never been to before. He gave good recommendations on food. He was an extreme gentleman and the conversation was better than average. Fairly good-looking didn't hurt the situation either. Oh, and he paid for dinner.

That gets an A+ from the BFF. Her opinion (and that of one of my brothers, shockingly enough) is that if they aren't paying for the first date, then they don't get a second. I'm willing to bend this rule just a bit. I'll give them the first one as a freebee, but if they don't pony up after that it's a done and dead deal. Seriously... if you can't afford to date, you shouldn't be on the market. And in this age-range they should have their shit together by now. If they don't, HUGE red flag!!

Take date #2, for example. Perfect specimen of what I'm talking about. Date #2 was a never-married, 45-year-old "man" still living in an apartment in the slums of Beaverton (generally a very nice town with only a few pockets of crap). We met at a sports bar to have dinner. I ordered an adult beverage, he ordered an O'Douls. So I asked if he didn't drink (not a problem, just good information to know). He said he did drink, but that the cops harass him a lot in his neighborhood and he didn't want to give them an excuse to pull him over. Huh? 1 beer? Really? But I let it go. Dinner came and went. The check landed on the table. He reaches over and grabs the check and I'm thinking he's going to pay.... however he's just staring at it and not reaching for anything. So I ask if there's a problem. He looks up at me and says "Well.... everything you ordered was way more expensive than what I ordered" (am I on a budget?) "but I guess I can just split the bill with you". Um... no thanks. I'll just pay for myself and be on my way. Which is exactly what I did.

That, my friends, is one instance when you don't get a do-over.

Wow... just, wow.

Humiliation... I know no bounds

As you are aware, I have been searching for a job since I moved back to Oregon (about a month ago). I am college educated and have a BS in Graphic Design. I have worked at major newspapers and have completely redesigned a magazine for relaunch.

So why, you ask, am I in humiliation mode?

My father and 2 brothers are home inspectors. I've been recruited into the family business, not as an home inspector but as a.... *gulp* sewer line inspector. That's right folks, I am a "pooper snooper".

And this is what my life has come to. Trying not to get "product" on anything I own as I'm retracting the line from the sewer. Is double gloving being a little OCD? I'd prefer a hazmat suit, but that's just not in the budget at this time.

*Sigh*

Word on the street is that there are 3 for tomorrow.... Can't wait.

Chemestry vs. Compatibility: And the winner is...

I went on my second blind date last night.

Again, this was someone that I had met online. We had emailed back and forth a few times and then decided to get together for sushi (my suggestion).

We met at a sushi place in downtown Portland. The conversation was easy. We seemed to have quite a bit in common. We seemed pretty compatible. So what, you ask, was the problem?

NO CHEMISTRY.

And I mean NONE. It was like having din-din with my brother. After 2 hours, I was ready to be done with it. He was a nice-enough guy... but there were no sparks what-so-ever. Not sure how he was feeling about the whole thing. I have a tough time reading what the other sex thinks about anything... and my past is proof enough of that.

With ex-hub in the beginning there was some chemistry. We had a decent (not explosive) sex life while we were dating. And we had quite a few things in common... at that point. Once we got married, the sex life came to a screeching halt and the things we did in common became friction points as time went on. I wonder if I had waited longer to get married if these things would have manifest themselves given more time? Or, did he just get lazy and let it go by the wayside? Tough to tell now, even with hind-site. But, when it came down to day-to-day compatibility, ex-hub and I had it all.

Now, the Biologist and I had huge amounts of chemistry. We were explosive in bed. But, when it came to the day-to-day stuff, we struggled. We also had very different ideas of what made a relationship. He was sure that if he just showed up, that was plenty on his part. He had no idea that it takes two to make a relationship work.

So, the hunt begins for the perfect balance of chemistry and compatibility. I see other couples that have managed to find it... so I know it can be done. The dream lives on...

Attack of the plan...

A friend once told me that "if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans". Today that feels so true.

3 months ago, I had a plan. And it was a good one, too. The Biologist and I had been saving all winter so we could take the summer off and cross Idaho by horseback. Not some people's idea of a great summer, but it's right up my alley. 3 months of seeing the world by horseback, camping in some of the most remote locations and getting off the grid... at least for a while. After that, we were going to settle down where he had gotten a job and start our life together.

Now, it's the beginning of May and I'm back in Oregon with no job... and no prospect of getting one any time soon. It's rough out there, as I'm sure some of you know. It struck me today that I would be a few days into my amazing trip if things had gone as "planned". Some days it just pisses me off that he screwed this up for the both of us.

Yeah, yeah... it's for the best... blah, blah, blah. And in my head, I know this is right. Still pisses me off, though. And, on days like today, makes me incredibly sad. Not for him, necessarily... but for the amazing adventure I could have had.

I still want to do that someday. I just need to figure out how to do it on my own. And I guess that's what it boils down to...

Back in the saddle.... again?

I'm not a church goer. I really am too old to hang out at bars trolling for guys anymore... that's more of a 20-something sport, and I think I'll leave it to them. So the question then becomes - how do you meet new and interesting people?

I decided to give the internet a try (I know, I know... PLFM here I come). I signed up for a site, put up my profile and sat back to see what might happen. Oh, and I also decided I would respond to anyone who emailed me, regardless of what my first impression was... unless they were a smoker (I'm really allergic) or way far away (what's the point?). I figured this way I would meet really interesting people... boy, did I ever.

So last night was my first date from the site. He seemed like a nice guy, had very witty emails, was pretty good looking in his profile pictures and was separated.... wait, only separated? I missed that the first time around. I decided to go through with it anyway, just to see what the deal was.

We met for dinner. Everything was very nice and he was better looking in person than he was in his pictures... a definite bonus. We got to talking and then finally I asked about his "separated" status. Come to find out, he's not really separated, he's just in an open relationship with his wife right now.

Excuse me? Did I hear that right? Do people actually do this?

They still live together and occasionally have sex... but they also go out on dates and sleep with other people as well. And this has been going on for OVER A YEAR!! What self-respecting woman puts up with this? I would've been outta there in a heart-beat. His rational? They got married really young and didn't get a chance to experience lots of other partners in their 20's like normal peeps. So, they were doing it now.

Um... thanks, but no thanks.

It did lead to some very interesting conversation. It also led me to saying "friends only". I do not want to be mixed up in the middle of that!!

So, as far as a romantic connection, it was a total miss. But, I am no longer a blind date virgin. And I did get another email from a guy who is actually divorced. We'll see if that turns out any better.