This week is shaping up to be one of the most interesting I've had in a long while. I have back to back to back to back dates... that started Wednesday night.
So, 2 down... 2 to go.
The first date was with and ex-Airforce guy who is now divorced and raising 2 kids. This is one that I wasn't super excited about, but rules are rules. And the rule is... if they ask, are between the ages of 33 and 45 and don't seem to be the serial killer type then you have to say yes to the date.
We went to a restaurant I had never been to before. He gave good recommendations on food. He was an extreme gentleman and the conversation was better than average. Fairly good-looking didn't hurt the situation either. Oh, and he paid for dinner.
That gets an A+ from the BFF. Her opinion (and that of one of my brothers, shockingly enough) is that if they aren't paying for the first date, then they don't get a second. I'm willing to bend this rule just a bit. I'll give them the first one as a freebee, but if they don't pony up after that it's a done and dead deal. Seriously... if you can't afford to date, you shouldn't be on the market. And in this age-range they should have their shit together by now. If they don't, HUGE red flag!!
Take date #2, for example. Perfect specimen of what I'm talking about. Date #2 was a never-married, 45-year-old "man" still living in an apartment in the slums of Beaverton (generally a very nice town with only a few pockets of crap). We met at a sports bar to have dinner. I ordered an adult beverage, he ordered an O'Douls. So I asked if he didn't drink (not a problem, just good information to know). He said he did drink, but that the cops harass him a lot in his neighborhood and he didn't want to give them an excuse to pull him over. Huh? 1 beer? Really? But I let it go. Dinner came and went. The check landed on the table. He reaches over and grabs the check and I'm thinking he's going to pay.... however he's just staring at it and not reaching for anything. So I ask if there's a problem. He looks up at me and says "Well.... everything you ordered was way more expensive than what I ordered" (am I on a budget?) "but I guess I can just split the bill with you". Um... no thanks. I'll just pay for myself and be on my way. Which is exactly what I did.
That, my friends, is one instance when you don't get a do-over.
Wow... just, wow.
Introducing: Harvest Hill Serenchipity
2 days ago
Why does a date need to be expensive or include a huge payout (like a nice dinner) the first time? A lack of funds should be explainable, but not a total turnoff or a REASON per se to not date. A date can be as frugal as a long walk around a neighborhood or park, or maybe a picnic if the two of you want to co-ordinate and the weather co-operates. And in this economy and my rate of pay, while I can certainly spare some change to take someone out to dinner sometimes, I'd rather do something else and put the money in savings towards paying off my student loans or one of the few bills I'm blessed with. My friends are in the same boat and feel the same way too (even moreso since some don't have jobs yet), so it's mutual and not like I'm being stingy. College diners are one thing, nice date-quality restaurants are another...maybe it's an older adult ideal kind of thing to flaunt money, but students can still pull some pretty inexpensive but fun date ideas together.
ReplyDeleteUm.... I think you missed the point. You don't comment on how much someone has spent... end of story. Rude and COMPLETELY inappropriate (no matter your age).
ReplyDeleteIf you are in question as to whether or not you can afford the date, you discuss beforehand about going dutch (which has happened and was fine with me).... or offer a cheap (or free) alternative.