Thursday, May 7, 2009

Chemestry vs. Compatibility: And the winner is...

I went on my second blind date last night.

Again, this was someone that I had met online. We had emailed back and forth a few times and then decided to get together for sushi (my suggestion).

We met at a sushi place in downtown Portland. The conversation was easy. We seemed to have quite a bit in common. We seemed pretty compatible. So what, you ask, was the problem?


And I mean NONE. It was like having din-din with my brother. After 2 hours, I was ready to be done with it. He was a nice-enough guy... but there were no sparks what-so-ever. Not sure how he was feeling about the whole thing. I have a tough time reading what the other sex thinks about anything... and my past is proof enough of that.

With ex-hub in the beginning there was some chemistry. We had a decent (not explosive) sex life while we were dating. And we had quite a few things in common... at that point. Once we got married, the sex life came to a screeching halt and the things we did in common became friction points as time went on. I wonder if I had waited longer to get married if these things would have manifest themselves given more time? Or, did he just get lazy and let it go by the wayside? Tough to tell now, even with hind-site. But, when it came down to day-to-day compatibility, ex-hub and I had it all.

Now, the Biologist and I had huge amounts of chemistry. We were explosive in bed. But, when it came to the day-to-day stuff, we struggled. We also had very different ideas of what made a relationship. He was sure that if he just showed up, that was plenty on his part. He had no idea that it takes two to make a relationship work.

So, the hunt begins for the perfect balance of chemistry and compatibility. I see other couples that have managed to find it... so I know it can be done. The dream lives on...


  1. Keep looking and don't look back!

  2. TorontoVet - that sounds like experience talking :) Care to share?

  3. That's why I like having din-dins with my brother...I don't need to worry about chemistry or anything like that. Just a fun time out (or in, if one of us cooks that night) with a great guy that I don't really need to worry about impressing or not since we're...obviously...related.