Now this is the life...

I decided, since I had so many hours in already this week, to take the afternoon off yesterday and take my mudball (aka Flash) out for a ride. It was beautiful here on the coast yesterday... topping out around 60º. Perfect for a ride...

I was hoping to take him down to the beach, but I haven't quite found the access points here yet. You can't be within city limits and be on the beach with your horse or it's a huge fine (like $500)... but I did hear about a place a little ways up the coast where you can park and ride. However, I haven't had a chance to check it out yet I decided to not risk having truck, trailer and horse in tow as I was trying to figure out where to go. I will do a reconnaissance run today and scope it out for next time.

So I decided to go up the road and onto the logging roads again. Flash was super excited to be out again. His ears were forward and there was a distinct bounce in his step. We explored some pretty interesting trails and roads. At one point there was a slight error in course selection and we ended up sliding down this very steep trail and then hiking back out of this huge ravine on the other side. I decided since we had already been up and down quite a few hills that I would get off and walk this one. Holy crap am I out of shape. We were both huffing and puffing by the time we got to the top. But we were having a great time...


And these are the days where I think, now this is the life...

I need a recharge...

Last weekend was tough. Followed by a week that was even more tough. I am burnt out...

And already this week is proving to be a challenge as well.

The ad reps at the paper have deadlines. They are to have all the ads to be built for the next paper in to me by Friday at 11am. The reason for this is because on Mondays I do not have the time to be creating ads. Small changes, yes. Ads from scratch, no. I have classifieds to pull together and get to the printer and that takes the majority of my day.

So, it really irks me when the reps dump 15 to 20 ads on me at 4:30 in the afternoon on a Monday and then waltz out the door while I have to put in another 3 to 4 hours. OK... it more than irks me. It really pisses me off.

Don't get me wrong... I love my job. However, I don't live to work. I work to live... and these kind of hours really start to drag me down. I am in desperate need of a recharge.

I kind of got one on Sunday when I took my mudball (aka Flash) out for a ride. We found some excellent trails that I'm looking forward to exploring. And soon I hope to take him down for a ride on the beach... which is something I've always wanted to do.

I just need to recharge...

Holy crap... what a week!!

 OK... there are some weeks where the amount of hours you are putting into a project feels like you are giving birth. Seriously. Either that, or you feel like you have been fried... sunnyside up.

Now, having never actually given birth but being cursed every month with debilitating cramps, I feel like I can still comment on the pain and suffering the "cursed project" (from now on known as CP) caused me this past week.

It was labor intensive. A 20 page, full color tab that I was still getting info on yesterday. Oh, and did I mention it was due to the printer yesterday? Yeah, it was. Holy crap!

I seriously was in the zone, though.... cranking out pages and content like I was some possessed person, trying hard not to look like a chicken running around with it's head cut off.

And after 55 hours in 4 days, I got that #**&^%&$^*&#%^#@@ thing done.

And given the time constraint, it actually turned out... beautiful. My boss had tears in her eyes when she saw the final proof. I guess that is what makes it all worth while.

That, and the boss bought me dinner last night... and after the week I was having I gladly accepted.

All I can say is... wow...

There are times in your life when you wish a hole would rear up and just swallow you whole. If ever there were a time when I felt like hunkering down and not dealing with the world at large, this would be it. And let me tell ya... when it rains, it pours...

So, things went south with Wulfe and I. I am still trying to digest what the hell happened there... that, I think, is going to take some time. That was Thursday night.

On Friday I realized that my bank account was in trouble due to the fact that the company had screwed up on the direct deposit checks and paid us a day late. I had a bunch of automatic transactions that were set to come out (because if the money is allowed to dally in my account for any period of time, I will spend it... usually on something horsey related). So I called the bank and explained the situation. They allowed the transactions to clear but I was assessed 4 overdraft fees... to the tune of $136, not in my favor. There went my funds for picking up Flash. I explained the situation to my parents and they graciously ponied up the money to make it happen (hooray for my family).

Also on Friday I heard from ex-hub about Maxwell (our sick kitty). He was going downhill fast and there was nothing left to do. He informed me he would be putting him down on Saturday. Man... does that suck. That cat was very important to ex-hub and although we have had our differences, when I got the text on Saturday that it was done my heart was breaking for him. We talked on the phone and cried together. I feel terrible he had to do that on his own. I am very sad that I will never see Max again.

Then the final clincher... when I arrived at Farmer's yesterday he informed me that Bug was missing and had been for a couple of days. He still hasn't returned and chances are that he probably won't. Even as I sit and write this his brother, Spiderman, is curled up on my lap purring. I have asked him if he knows where Bug is... but so far, nothing. Another heartbreak to add to the rest of this weekend, I guess...

The bright light was this: I got to ride Flash yesterday... and today I take him home with me. It is amazing to me how just moseying down the trail on my favorite horse is such a balm to my soul. I am so happy that I will have him at the coast with me. For me this isn't just a hobby... it's a lifestyle. And this is the longest I've been away from it since I became a horse owner 11 years ago.

I have a rough work week ahead of me... I'm probably looking at 16 hour days on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Not only do I have a huge 2 section paper to get out but there is a special section (another full time job in it's own right) due to the printer on Thursday by 5pm.

Egads... I really hope it all gets done. At this point I am in a bit of panic mode...

I thought this was a good thing...

My mother has often said that I was born without a few key pieces... she may be right.

Apparently, not only do I not have a filter, but I don't have the ability to recognize red flags either. I guess there were some... I totally missed them (kinda like with the Biologist). I'm sure with time I will look back and see what is so totally obvious to everyone else. Right now? It's just hard to see through the blur of tears...

All I know is, I was happy. Now I am so very sad. And I can't quite figure out why Wulfe didn't think I was worth taking more of a chance on? I am at a loss...