All I can say is... wow...

There are times in your life when you wish a hole would rear up and just swallow you whole. If ever there were a time when I felt like hunkering down and not dealing with the world at large, this would be it. And let me tell ya... when it rains, it pours...

So, things went south with Wulfe and I. I am still trying to digest what the hell happened there... that, I think, is going to take some time. That was Thursday night.

On Friday I realized that my bank account was in trouble due to the fact that the company had screwed up on the direct deposit checks and paid us a day late. I had a bunch of automatic transactions that were set to come out (because if the money is allowed to dally in my account for any period of time, I will spend it... usually on something horsey related). So I called the bank and explained the situation. They allowed the transactions to clear but I was assessed 4 overdraft fees... to the tune of $136, not in my favor. There went my funds for picking up Flash. I explained the situation to my parents and they graciously ponied up the money to make it happen (hooray for my family).

Also on Friday I heard from ex-hub about Maxwell (our sick kitty). He was going downhill fast and there was nothing left to do. He informed me he would be putting him down on Saturday. Man... does that suck. That cat was very important to ex-hub and although we have had our differences, when I got the text on Saturday that it was done my heart was breaking for him. We talked on the phone and cried together. I feel terrible he had to do that on his own. I am very sad that I will never see Max again.

Then the final clincher... when I arrived at Farmer's yesterday he informed me that Bug was missing and had been for a couple of days. He still hasn't returned and chances are that he probably won't. Even as I sit and write this his brother, Spiderman, is curled up on my lap purring. I have asked him if he knows where Bug is... but so far, nothing. Another heartbreak to add to the rest of this weekend, I guess...

The bright light was this: I got to ride Flash yesterday... and today I take him home with me. It is amazing to me how just moseying down the trail on my favorite horse is such a balm to my soul. I am so happy that I will have him at the coast with me. For me this isn't just a hobby... it's a lifestyle. And this is the longest I've been away from it since I became a horse owner 11 years ago.

I have a rough work week ahead of me... I'm probably looking at 16 hour days on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Not only do I have a huge 2 section paper to get out but there is a special section (another full time job in it's own right) due to the printer on Thursday by 5pm.

Egads... I really hope it all gets done. At this point I am in a bit of panic mode...