Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Things you're glad they didn't tell you beforehand...

I have posted about my girlie parts (and my troubles with those parts) here before. However, I do try to issue a warning before I just go off into TMI land.

So here's your warning. Depart this post now if you don't want to know (and chances are, you probably don't).


OK... if you are still here, then I cannot be held responsible for your reaction to the rest of the post. Please sign here in blood and initial Paragraph B, subsection III.

Great. Here we go...

Today I got an IUD. If you do not know what an IUD is, go google it. They can explain way better than I can. The basics are: a plastic thingy goes way up there in your nether regions and you don't get pregnant (or in my case, cramps) anymore. However, it kinda hurts when they ram gently insert the how huge is that thing anyway? IUD into your nether regions. Maybe hurt is downplaying it a bit. I wanted to claw my eyes out during the insertion. But I was warned about all of that when I made the appointment and was kind of prepared... like you can be kind of prepared for nuclear fallout. You know it's coming but there's not much you can do but hang on and hope you make it through.

What you don't know (and definitely no one bothered to mention) is that before they ram insert the how huge is that thing anyway? IUD, they give you a couple of shots of "numbing" agent up there. Yes, there. On the inside. Waaaay up there. Holy $#!t that hurt. Bad!! And as far as I can tell, it didn't numb a damn thing. I still felt like I was having an alien implanted.

And then, it was over.

The only casualty was the cushion on the examination table. I guess I need to cut my finger nails down a bit but I'm sure it can be patched up with duct tape. Everything can be fixed with duct tape, right?

And next time if they don't want their cushion irreparably damaged, they'll give a girl a little heads up before doing something like that without any warning.


  1. That sounds truly awful. I had mine put in while five, count em five really hot med students looked on, and one played with my then 1 year old son, and there was laughter and smiles all around....and me, going, WTF is this tea time?
    Let me tell you though: I've had mine for five months now: WORTH EVERY SECOND.

    1. Yeah... the nurse kept trying to make chit-chat while I was just trying to keep breathing. 5 med students would have sucked. Kudos to you!!

  2. I know it was a long time ago, and the memory is hazy but uh, damn you're a wuss. =P

    1. pffft... I didn't take any issue with the insertion itself. But you're right. When it comes to needles I'm a total and complete wimp. They scare me SHITLESS!!

  3. I have had an IUD for.... 5 years now. (I have a Paragard, the non-hormonal one). I did NOT have the shots to my cervix or get the suppository thingys to put up there before hand to "soften" it. Insertion was not pleasant but I didnt destroy the room. The Ex said that I hollered and swore which I do not recall.

    Since the docs didnt prepare you for the insertion, I will assume they didnt prepare you for the adjustment period to the IUD either. Give it time to settle and your bod to get used to it. Especially if you were on HBC before insertion. I had a rocky few months but I would do it all over again. I love my IUD.

    1. Thanks for the heads-up. I wasn't on any BC before this. Oral BC makes me crazy... and not just a little. So far other than a little twinge here and there it seems to be fine. The hope is to reduce the cramps that come every month. If it does that, I'll be ecstatic!!