It has been brought to my attention that I keep harping on the same faults of ex-hub. And this is true... I do. I'm still frustrated over some things that have gone on between us. However, this has caused me to reflect on my own culpability. No one person is ever the single cause of a break-up... and I have some serious 'fessing up to do.
As previously mentioned, my management of 'ships needs some work. Friendship, great. Relationship... not so much. Again, I ask why. Again, I have no answer to that question. But it needs work. I need to basically be able to have a friends with benefits type of scenario... but monogamous. At least, that's how I need to approach it in my mind.
Yeah, I'll work on that...
Secondly, I need to not be so reactionary. Every little nuance does not need to be studied ad nauseum for the hidden meaning behind it. Perhaps "I'm fine" means just that... he's fine. Again, not an easy thing for me but it does tie into the first problem. I don't do that with my friends... just my relations... go figure.
I think my last major hang-up is my self-confidence. Slowly, but surely, it's coming back. Being here alone at the coast has gone a long way to helping out with that. I just need to keep working on the positive and let the negative go. Period.
You know, past is past and all that...
Crewing Vermont Moonlight
2 days ago