Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Wrath of Seagulls...

On Friday, whilst still at work, word came in that an unfortunate seagull had electrocuted itself and caused havoc around my area of town... shutting down the power and the highway. I didn't sweat it. After all, all of the good stuff were on surge protectors.

The unfortunate seagull...
 (courtesy of The News Guard)

So, I went about my Friday routine. Went to the Bay House for 2 for 1's. Visited with friends. Went to Ally's and Muppet's for a movie (Despicable Me... it was great). And then proceeded to go home...

Once there, I realized the devastation brought on by the bbq'd seagull. My HD TV and my stereo were no longer among the living!! Oh, the humanity. Oh... and the hotel down the street caught fire too. But that's not nearly as bad as my HD TV biting the dust. I was forced to hook up my far-less-superior non-HD TV that has poopy sound and color. It's horrible...

Let's all take a moment of silence for my dearly departed, shall we?

Then, yesterday the lights here at work went out. Guess what? Another seagull had bbq'd itself, shutting down the power for about 4,000 people.

OK you bible thumpers. I want to know if there is something in there about suicidal seagulls being a harbinger of the end of the world... because, if so, we need to start hunkering down. STAT.

This whole tsunami/suicidal seagulls thing has made me decide to start writing a little guide to the apocalypse. I'm going to be sharing a nugget of knowledge every so often (complete with illustrations) for those of you who need to know what to expect and what to do once it gets here. And don't worry. None of that undecipherable babble that means nothing. I'll be breaking it down for you, the layman...

And I'm gonna call it: The Layman's Guide to the Apocalypse.

The link is to the right. Posts will be starting soon...


  1. I'm having trouble reading... did you mention the 40KV bump almost burning down the motel down the street?
    Thanks goodness for da' Ground...

  2. Yes, I "mentioned" the Motel almost burned down... but it's not nearly as notable or as tragic as the death my poor, dear HD TV.

    Sheesh... Priorities, man ;)

  3. the tv will surely be missed more then the BBQ'ed sea chickens

  4. You crack me up every time.