Monday, May 9, 2011

The conditions of "unconditional" love...

I always have found it amusing when people say they are looking for someone to love them unconditionally. I don't understand this at all because a relationship is the one place (in my never humble opinion) that you don't want unconditional anything.

One of the biggest mistakes that Ex-hub made was assuming that there was a finish line in our relationship. He was under the mistaken impression that once we made it to "I do" that his job was done and that he could now put things in cruise control and take it easy.


Very wrong...

Successful relationships take work and it's a balance of constant negotiations and re-negotiations. We, as people, are ever-evolving. Which means, we (as a couple) should also be ever-evolving. Who you were at 20 is not who you were at 30. Or 40. Or... well, you get the idea. And just because something in the relationship was tolerable, or even ideal, in your 20's doesn't mean that it continues to be. And if you refuse to re-negotiate the terms of your relationship then you're going to wind up either alone or very unhappy.

Either way, it's not a good thing...

Unless, of course, you want to be alone. Then, congratulations... success.

I really think the key to a happy, long-term, monogamous relationship is the ability to keep the lines of communication open (never easy) and the ability to rethink how certain parts of your relationship work.

If change is not your thing, get a pet. As long as you take care of them they'll be yours. Unconditionally...


  1. I was only making a reference to your dog, sheesh!!!