Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The prenup vs. "I love you, but..."

An interesting question was posed to me the other day by a friend of mine who has some financial wealth. Is a prenuptial agreement the same as planning for failure?

This is an interesting question. As you know, I am kind of a hopeless romantic. Even after all the of the false starts and near-misses I'm still convinced that I will find my soul mate. Silly? Yes. But it is what it is. I tend to go into every new relationship with undying optimism. It's just who I am...

However, when this friend asked me if I would be opposed to signing one, I immediately said no. Why? Because even though I am ever-optimistic, I also have a hell of a head for business. I think assets that were accumulated before the relationship should be protected. But, what about those assets that grow as you put more into them? Rebel owns his own business and it is pretty much a separate entity from a relationship (in my mind). But what about something like farming? That is a venture that is taken on by the couple as a whole. How do you separate that out? Or do you? Is that an instance when a prenuptial agreement just wouldn't be fair?

Maybe it's situationally dependent...

And it's a very sticky situation. I guess there is no black-and-white answer to this. The best thing would be to have very open lines of communication where it could be discussed without any feelers getting hurt. But some of my friends, when asked, said it felt like planning for failure. And you definitely don't want to go into something feeling like it's already failed...

*sigh*

Tough question. No clear answer. I guess I wasn't much help...

3 comments:

  1. I think prenups are necessary in this society... not in MY situation, but still.

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  2. It's so funny. Most women said you need one and most men said you don't. Not what I expected...

    ReplyDelete
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