Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Don't blame it on me...

I've posted before about Bow's horse search. Let me just say that after this past week that I'm glad I'm not in the market for an additional mouth to feed. Egads... crazy seller are crazy!! Seriously.


So, long story short: Bow found a really nice Arab gelding for sale. She called and talked to the owner. Owner described the horse a bit, Bow described her riding skills and desires for the horse a bit and an appointment to see the horse at the trainer's barn was made.

So far so good, right? Right.

Bow shows up at the barn and even though the horse proves to be quite sane (and actually bored with the whole thing) Bow doesn't get to ride because it's windy out. OK, whatever. Weather happens and I guess the buyer wants to be careful. But still... a tad on the weird side. Bow makes another appointment to see the horse and actually ride the horse this time.

First ride on perfectly sane horse goes fine. Bow makes a second appointment to ride the horse on the trail later in the week and invites Flash and I along for the ride. I tell her no problem, we'll be there with bells (or at least a saddle) on.

So far so good, right? Maybe.

In the few days between the first ride and the trail ride, CrazyLady keeps emailing Bow about all of these weird conditions she wants to put on the sale. Now, I understand about wanting a good home for a horse that you've had in your possession... just ask Heard. I made her jump through some hoops to get Aspen (aka Zoe). However, CrazyLady kept adding to the list: she has to approve the boarding situation (OK, I get that... don't want said horse standing in fetlock deep mud), horse has to have a stall and turnout (really? horses don't "have" to have a stall... in fact, most horses just prefer to hang out with some buds but still, I kinda get that), horse has to stay in training with the trainer for a month (um, now I'm starting to get an icky feeling... has to stay in training? why? horse seems sane... it's just the owner I'm wondering about now), Bow has to take lessons with the trainer (shouldn't Bow be the one to decide who she'd like to train with?) and horse has to be boarded at trainer's place for a month (now we're just into the ridiculous).

At this point, I was cautioning against the CrazyLady but Bow really liked the horse and didn't mind jumping through a few hoops because the price was good and the horse was sane. So, we were still on for the trail ride later in the week.

So far so good, right? Starting to wonder.

So, I show up at the trainer's barn with Flash in tow. I brush my horse, I saddle up and I try to start a conversation with the CrazyLady (figuring it would be good to try to play nice... no good deed goes unpunished). I mention to CrazyLady that I do endurance with my horse. CrazyLady then mentions to me that someone wanted to take sane horse and have him racing a 50 mile endurance race in 6 weeks. My jaw dropped. And I mentioned that you could maybe be ready for an easy 25 LD in 2 months but 50 in 6 weeks seemed excessive. Keep this little convo in mind. It'll become pertinent in a moment.

Bow and I (and trainer) head out for our trail ride. Minus a little spook at a car zooming by, sane horse proves himself to be, well, sane. Bow is very interested now. I'm on board because they seem like a good fit. When we arrive back at the barn Bow lets CrazyLady know that she is interested and CrazyLady pushes for a vet check like now. So Bow sets everything up for a few days later... barn visit (where sane horse would eventually live) and vet check.

So far so good, right? Not so fast.

*this short story isn't that short, is it? anywho... moving on*

The day before the vet and barn visit, CrazyLady emails Bow that she can't do the day she decided on and can she rearrange all the appointments. Bow scrambles around calling hither and yon trying to get the appointments rescheduled to accommodate the bitch, I mean CrazyLady. After going through all of that, CrazyLady then emails her this:

Hi Bow,
I just sent you an email but I don't think it went through so I'm sending this again.
I'm not sure you and sane horse are the best match. It has nothing to do with you personally, my concern is over the woman who you have mentoring you
(that would be me, in case you were wondering). Since I placed my ad I have read a lot, talked to and emailed with quite a few people who are long term endurance riders. Without going into too much detail I can tell you they are not in agreement with any trainer who says they can condition a horse properly for a 25 mile ride in two months-something she said she could do (true, I did say it could be done... didn't say I was going to or have anyone asking me for advice do so either). Since your goal is 25(or 50?) mile ride by the end of the summer I think you would be better served finding a horse that already has months of conditioning on him (months? how many months do you think it takes you batshit crazy moron?). Sane horse isn't there yet (he's been in regular work for a month, so he could be ready in 2 months) and I don't want her influencing you by telling you she thinks he can do it (already explained what I said but it still pisses me off). It's likely he could, but the damage to his tendons and soft joints would likely show up down the road (yeah, because all of us endurance people don't have to vet in or out at every race... and multiple times in between *rolls eyes*).
I have a lifetime of experience with owning, breeding and showing my horses(with trainers) to national wins
(I actually looked for a show record under her name... not much there. hmmmm). I understand conditioning for long term use (really? you mentioned you really didn't ride and didn't show your own horses. hmmmm). I've seen horses badly damaged/used up by people who pushed them too hard and too fast. I don't want that for any of my horses.
I wish you the best in your search. I am sorry to disappoint you but unless you were willing to take lessons with someone I know and condition sane horse according to AERC guidelines
(which I have done, just for the record) I think I will continue to look for another buyer.
Thanks, Fucking Bitch (oops... I mean CrazyLady)

Let me just say that AERC thinks that any fit horse with a couple months of conditioning can do an easy 25 or 30 LD. It's all over their damn website.

*gets huffy*

The woman is off her fucking rocker (sorry for the language... a bit pissed off here). Plus I feel really bad that I opened my mouth up at all and said anything to this woman and ruined what might have been a good match between sane horse and Bow.

*serious growling*

So, poor Bow has to start the search all over again.

I wonder if I'll be asked to consult again? Can't blame her if she leaves me at home next time...


  1. I do NOT blame you. I won't leave you at home (unless you get sick of ME). Lady was crazy, I'm sure I dodged a bullet with her (though the horse WAS totally sane). She's probably the type that would randomly show up at the boarding facility a couple months down the road (because she knows where it is because she had to see it first) and ask what he's eating and why, when the last time his hooves were picked, why he's not wearing a blanket when it's 50 degrees at night, why his bridle doesn't have a nice tight noseband and where's the martingale, and how come I'm not taking dressage lessons three times a week. :-)

  2. Poor horse. Not just a crazy lady, a fucking control freak bitch owner.

  3. I gotta admit... she was a nutter. Even while I was trying to be nice to her she would just say the craziest shit. It was weird. She was weird...

  4. Bow... thanks for not blaming me :)

  5. Did BOW find another horse to try out yet? If not, I might have one. How good of a rider is she? Horse is young, but very special....

  6. Kim - she's looking at a prospect this weekend. If that doesn't pan out, I'll let you know.

  7. Sounds awesome....love your blog by the way. Fun to read a blog about home....

  8. Well, she ended up buying the prospect she looked at this weekend. But I would post on the PNER facebook page :)

  9. My skin crawled just reading that email... That woman irritated the heck out of me... and I was just a reader, reading about a third hand story.

    TO be honest, that's the kind of crazy that doesn't go away after you buy a horse. Bow, I agree - I think you dodged a bullet.

    I'm surprised you stayed sane. I might have been tempted to write a nasty email back, even if it didn't solve anything.

  10. I know, right? After I saw that email I was glad that Bow moved on to something else. And now she's got a great horse that will be awesome for her :)