Thursday, May 6, 2010

Cinco Deny O'

So, as long as I'm sitting around dying of cramps I might as well relate the events of last night. I was hoping that my productivity would include lots of sleep, but this will just have to do instead...

So I was down at my favorite haunt last night visiting with my buddy Lab. Lab is in his 70's (although he doesn't look a day over 50) and lost his wife a few years ago to cancer. He is a very interesting person with lots of funny stories and I love to just sit at the bar and chit-chat with him... and last night was no exception.

So when I got there the bar was pretty crowded. Lab had saved a seat so I sat down next to him and on my other side was an out-of-towner in covering for someone on vacation at the phone company. I immediately saw a wedding ring and thought to myself, oh good... that's not going to be an issue.

So Lab and I start yapping about this and that and I tell him about the Biologist's confession to me. So then we start to discuss cheating. You all know my position on it... it is BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD... Lab pretty much felt the same way. The guy on my other side (we'll call him Red) pipes into the conversation and tells us he's been married almost 25 years and has never considered it. Good deal. I continue to say that I can't see how women are comfortable being the "other" woman because I certainly wouldn't want someone doing that to me, therefore I wouldn't do it to someone else. And the conversation progresses from there and moves on to other subjects with Red chiming in now and again.

So, 7pm rolls around and Lab decides to take off. I'm still in the middle of my din-din so I'm not leaving yet. Red decides to stick around and chit-chat with me. As I'm eating Red starts telling me about his marriage troubles. Now, I kinda get this... sometimes it's just easier to talk to someone you don't know and get things off your chest... especially after you've had a few. And he had had a few. So I chit-chat with him about it and it's starting to get a bit on the late side (8pm) and I hadn't been up to feed my pony yet so I'm starting to get ready to leave.

So Red asks me if I can go in late tomorrow... and I say no I've got a lot to do in the office. And he says to me (seriously) well how about staying out and playing? And I laugh and inform him that this is small town coastal Oregon. Everything here is closed by 10pm. And then he asks me (seriously) well what about you? What time do you shut down?

OMG. Seriously? Um, sir, those doors were never open for business as far as you're concerned. YOU'RE MARRIED. And even if you weren't that is just not my style.

Needless to say, he got the hell outta there pretty fast after that. I guess he wasn't paying attention when we were discussing the issue of cheating earlier in the evening. Holy crap. The bartender (bless her heart) thought it was hilarious.

I'm sure I will never hear the end of it...


  1. That is amazing! I guess it goes to show that some people will tell you what they think you want to hear.

  2. What nerve! I was watching this show about flight attendants, and one of the attendants was at a club and a guy came up and said "what's it gonna take for me to tap that ass?" She said "do you really talk to women like that?" and threw a drink in his face. Twas awesome. I don't understand why guys think its okay to talk like that, has it ever yielded results?

  3. I related that story to a guy friend of mine and he said "99 times out of 100 that won't work. He was just looking for that 1 time it would".

    Whatever... LOL