I don't share well...

I was watching a 20/20 program about a polygamist family. It wasn't the Warren Jeffs version. This guy had dated the first 2 wives together and had married them both on the same day. They knew what they were getting into and signed on for it, together. They were all consenting adults and no one was being forced into what essentially amounts to child abuse.

So far, I was kinda on board...

Except when they talked about the honeymoon night. Someone had to be first and you could see the pain in the eyes of the woman (even 20-something years later) who wasn't chosen to be first. It was sad. Very. Sad.

And then, after 20-something years of marriage the identical twin of one of the wives came to visit. And hubby decided he needed to add to his harem.

OK, so now I was totally not on board...

The 2 original wives were suddenly superceded by the shiny new wife. You could see the jealousy in all 3 women. The new wife because she wasn't an original. The originals because they weren't new. It was painful to watch. They tried to laugh it off and say it didn't bother them, but anyone with eyeballs could see what a difficult situation it was.

And it made me seethe with jealousy for them. He didn't have to share. Why should they?

I just can't imagine being in that position. It's hard enough just dealing with the various ex's of the people I date... but a wife? Right there? With a say in the matter? Oh hell no!

I guess it's a good thing that monogamy is my thing. Relationships are hard enough without the added stress of an extra wife or girlfriend roaming around...

It was a wild Christmas...

And there definitely was an animal theme going on in the present department...

BooBoo got hoody footies...

 If you don't know what "hoodie footies" are, consider yourself lucky. This set even had a detachable tail...

 I got a cute animal hat...

All the pups got bones...

The kids just got spoiled...

And my dogs got a bath (thanks to Rebel, who now has a clogged drain in his shower). But they are sparkly-clean and smell like Pert.

On the drive home from the Parentals, I ran into some weird weather.

It was pitch black to the East and sunny to the West...

And then I ran into some snow at the top of the pass. And a wreck...

But I made it home safe and sound and was able to enjoy the Christmas evening with Rebel and my shiny-clean Pert-smelling dogs. It was a good night...

Yesterday, Rebel and I decided to take a drive to the Metolius River and hike around...

What's that behind me? Is it gonna eat me?

Trying to get everyone to look the same direction seems to be a challenge for us...

Squirrel!!

Attempt #1 to get everyone looking the same direction...

Attempt #2

Attempt #3 (success!! kinda...)

And then we got to the mighty headwaters of the Metolius River...

Call me pessimistic, but I was kinda expecting more...

But we still had a good time and wore ourselves out. It was a great 3-day weekend but I just wasn't ready for it to be over already. I could have happily stayed in bed for another few days.

Oh well...

Back to work I go.

A few of my favorite things...

A very cute and *very* handy boyfriend...

Amazing fur kids...

Horses that want to go for a ride...

110lb dogs that think they are lap dogs...

Beautiful places to hike and play...

Beautiful sunrises on the farm...

Best friends...

I am very blessed. Have a Merry Christmas!!

Coal in my stocking...

I got busted yesterday and have landed myself on the "naughty" side of the list.

When I was married to Ex-hub there was one year that we were saving money to go to Hawaii to see on of my brothers married. We had saved somewhere around $2,000 when it happened... I got a call from Ex-hub saying that the car had broken down. We had it towed into a shop and were told that the engine had seized up because my dear, dear Ex-hub had forgotten to put oil in it.

I was so pissed. We fixed the car and didn't go to Hawaii. I could have killed him...

Well, yesterday Rebel had my car so he could put the brakes on it. When I called to ask him how it was going he berated me for my car being 2 1/2 quarts low in oil.

*oh shit*

Yes, that's right. I was an irresponsible twit... just like my Ex-hub had been.

That is so not like me. Typically I'm johnny-on-the-spot with stuff like this. I can't believe I let my VW get so low...

*hangs head in shame*

I'm getting it an oil change tomorrow. That should make it happier...

Once a cheater?

I think I've covered this topic before... but it struck my mind again yesterday, so I'm going with it.

I think if you've been reading this blog for any period of time then you'll know my stand on cheating. Absolutely not tolerated. Period.

However, I do have a confession to make. When I was with the Biologist he cheated on me. And I knew he had cheated on me. I read it from his own hand (yes, I was snooping). And still I was able to dismiss what I knew and try to believe him even though I knew the actual truth. It was bad. It made all of our dealings after that point contentious and not very much fun. Plus I was a paranoid wreck...

I will never do that again. But over the last few years I've tried to figure out why I ignored what I knew to be true and stick it out with the Biologist anyway.

The best answer I have is this: I wasn't quite ready to be alone.

I am human. What can I say...

Rebel's ex-wife cheated on him pretty early on in their marriage. He ended up sticking it out another 14 years only to find out she had been cheating on him the final 2 years of their marriage as well. I always wonder if the person she cheated with (and is still seeing, if I remember correctly) is paranoid that she'll turn around and cheat on him too. It just seems that if you had no regard for one relationship that you'll probably not suddenly change and have respect for the next one. But I could be wrong, I suppose.

All I know is that cheating is such a huge breach of trust and respect that I don't think you can get that back once it is gone.

At least, that's how I feel...

What's 300 miles between FWB?

Man... I have no idea how I go so lucky. Not only does Rebel only live a few miles from me, but he cleans my house when I'm out riding too. I'm thinking I'm hanging onto this one for a while.

But, what about those poor unfortunate souls who are not blessed with close proximity like Rebel and I are? How do you make a long distance relationship work? Or is it even possible?

I guess if all you want is a FWB kinda deal, then a long distance relationship is the perfect solution.

But... if you really want a committed relationship I'm just not sure how it can actually work. I mean, every time you see the person it's kinda new all over again. So it's really hard to gauge if you actually get along in the day-to-day area of things or not.

I guess it just seems that if you are that far apart, that things really never go anywhere and that you never get the opportunity to grow the relationship and move forward together.

Am I wrong on this one?

To buy or not to buy...

I have a dilemma. And I'm not quite sure what to do about it...

When Rebel and I first talked about Christmas we kinda decided not to do gifts. But I just don't think that I can stick to my guns on this one. I love Christmas... and I love to buy gifts for those I care about.

Rebel is much less of a Christmas lover (although he did indulge me this weekend and we drove around and looked at pretty Christmas lights).

So, what to do? To buy? Or not to buy? That is the question...

Now you're speaking my language...

If you haven't heard, apparently there are 5 languages of love.

• Words of Affirmation

  Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

• Quality Time

  In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

• Receiving Gifts

  Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

• Acts of Service

  Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

• Physical Touch

  This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Personally, they all sound pretty good to me. Do I really have to pick just one?

I mean, who doesn't love to receive gifts while be told "I love you" as the object of your affection does the dishes while attuned to your every word and stroking your face lovingly. Seems like a good thing to me.

I think I'll stick with all 5... thank you very much.

My own thing...

Wildflower and I were having a discussion the other day about our Significant Others. Wildflower thinks it's a deal-breaker if her SO doesn't share in her foremost passion, horses. For me, it's a little more flexible...

While it would be nice to share that part of my life, it's not a necessity. Ex-hub didn't share it and that was OK with me. I liked the idea of being to go out and do something that is just uniquely mine. The problem with Ex-hub is that he resented the time I spent with my horses and didn't want to be a part of anything I was doing with them.

I don't think Rebel is like this. He helps me feed, stack the hay and take care of stuff around the farm. He just isn't that into riding and I'm totally OK with that... I think when it comes time to start to go to some endurance races that Rebel will be open to going with me. Ex-hub never really was.

The other bad part of my marriage was that the things that Ex-hub and I enjoyed together he stopped doing. That was very frustrating!! Again, I really don't see that happening with Rebel. He doesn't do stuff he doesn't want to do in the first place. He's a total what-you-see-is-what-you-get kinda guy. And I love that aspect of him.

So, for now, horses remain my own thing. And I'm totally fine with that...

Winter fluff...

Jewel mentioned to me the other day that she was starting to get concerned about Storm and the amount of extra "padding" she's carrying around this winter. So I decided to take stock of my stock and see where we are at.

Storm is positively padded. She needs to go on a diet STAT. I've decided to cut her back to a flake in the morning and a flake at night.

I'm not fat. I'm big-boned...

Flash is looking positively plump. Even for him. Typically he is a svelt equine. Not so much right now. But after the last few years of inexplicable weight loss, I'll take it.

More food, less talk...

Noelle has lost her girly figure. Totally. She is, once again, a marshmallow.

Marshmallows are nomz...

Daisy has even started to look a portly. I guess I need to cut her kibble back too.

Cut my kibble? That's depressing...

The only animal that I have that isn't overweight is possibly Goodwin. But even he's starting to really pack on the pounds.

I look gooooooood....

And they aren't the only ones. Rebel and I probably need to think about cutting down the calories, as well. But that's a whole other blog...

Better times have been had...

Talk about a crappy weekend.

Well... I guess it wasn't all bad. True, I felt like death warmed over for most of the weekend. But I also spent the whole weekend with Rebel and didn't want to kill him (or him, me) by the end of it.

That's progress, my friends.

The new English...

If you hang around my friends and family long enough, you will start to learn that there is a whole other English language that you were unaware of. Pretty soon you start using these terms around "normal" people and they look at you like you have sprouted another head...

Let me give you some examples...

Goombah: It's like goodbye, but better.

Assholic: Not quite as bad as an asshole... he (or she, I suppose) just has assholish tendencies.

Nose snoggle: A giant booger in your nose... usually peaking out the end.

Scritchity: Like scratchy, but much worse.

Well, you get the idea...

Crater Lake & the random waterfall..

It was a fun weekend. But first it was an amazing sunset on Friday night...

Can you believe I get to work here?

On Saturday, Rebel needed to make a trip down to K-falls to install a starter on his sister's truck. The pups and I decided to tag along... and take a detour. To Crater Lake. By random back roads. With giant snow ruts...

But once we actually got there, it was beautiful :)

Wait... I wasn't ready.

A little better...

Now that is a view. And a long way down...

Rebel enjoying the sites...

Too many shadows...

What is that small rat-like thing next to me?

Better. Kinda...

A cute couple...

A cute couple... in the shadows.

The moon above the lodge...

The sun setting over Upper Klamath Lake...

On Sunday, Rebel and I decided to hike out to a random waterfall. Well, it was random to me. He knew exactly where we were going. And the pups, Rebel and I had a great time...

Squirrel!!

How do you eat this stuff?

What's over there?

Nothing. What's over there?

Rebel and the girls. The random waterfall is somewhere in the background. I swear...

I think it's over there...

Or is it over there?

I will pose on this rock...

And be the cutest dog ever...

Daisy going incognito...

You don't see me. I am a figment of your imagination...

There's the waterfall. Finally...

You call this a bridge?

Doesn't look like much of a bridge to me...

Zooooooooooooooooooooom....

Rebel trying to show Daisy how it's done...

Rebel is the only one I could actually get to pose on the bridge...

After hiking up to the waterfall and back down, we then decided to go and find a Christmas tree. We might have gotten a tad bit ambitious...

It fits. Right? Right...

For the record, that's a 13' ceiling. It seriously didn't look that big when it was tied to the SUV... I swear!! Once we get lights and decorations on it, I don't think it will look that big.

Can't wait to get it all decorated. This is my favorite time of year...