Friday, March 2, 2012

Quick or slow?

This discussion has come up a few times relating to a few different situations.

The question: Would you rather have time to say goodbye but have that person (or animal) suffer or would you rather they went quickly but you got no time to say goodbye?

I'm still up in the air on this one. My grandfather lingered on for months longer than he probably should have. His quality of life was not good and the strain that his illness put on my grandmother was readily apparent to all who entered their house. However, she was able to make her peace with him dying and got to say goodbye.

My parents had a beloved dog that went to sleep one night and didn't wake up the next morning. It was a painless and quick death for the dog but my parents were devastated over his passing and never got to tell him goodbye.

Selfishly, I think we all want the time to say our final goodbyes...


  1. I've had a cat die a sudden but quick and probably relatively painless death, and I've had two grandparents die long drawn-out deaths. I've been blessed not to experience a loved one (human) die suddenly, and have only had family pets, not personal pets, suffer protracted illnesses. Honestly, I think I'd rather the comfort of knowing the person didn't suffer than the selfish chance to say goodbye. I don't do well with goodbyes, anyway.

  2. I have had both in my life, not that this is a good thing either way. It doesn't make it easier. Just saying goodbye to those we love are hard. We miss them now, but hold on to the day we say hello again makes it bearable.

  3. I never got to say goodbye to my wife, but i guess I have in some way every day for seven years...