So, it's been about a month since Farmer and I called it off. Some days are really good. Some days are not so great. I think it's the same for him... but who knows. I have such a hard time reading him that I could be completely wrong.
And that kind of annoys me. Why do I have such a hard time with him? I'm so used to being able to figure out what makes people tick... he, though, is an enigma wrapped in a mystery (and tied with a bow, I'm sure). It makes me wonder what the hell I'm missing...
For the most part the friendship is in tact. He seems more reserved that he was before we were together but I'm not sure if that's because he doesn't want to make things more difficult for me or if he just doesn't want to lead me on... Basically I have no idea what goes on in his brain. And I'm sure if I asked him he would just look at me like I'm crazy (and I am... so there is that).
I must say that I enjoy the company at night. He makes an effort to have dinner with me every night which is really nice. He seems way more relaxed and I don't think that we're getting any less time together... it's just spent differently I think... mainly as friends, not as a couple as it would have been. I think for him it takes the pressure off... but again, I could be way off base. Who knows?
Anyway... not sure where I was headed with this and now I've lost my train of thought. Time for breakfast, me thinks.
Crewing Vermont Moonlight
2 days ago