Thursday, July 29, 2010

Which is more important...

Time or money?

I had an interesting discussion with my friend Alaska last night. His wife is asking for a trial separation, which does not make him happy.

He works a difficult schedule... 4 weeks on, 4 weeks off. I can't imagine that having him gone 4 weeks at a time is good for any relationship where any type of intimacy is important. Plus, she is tired of living way out in the middle of nowhere. She wants to be closer to humanity than she is to wildlife... not sure I blame her on that one.

His side... he makes great money and has many investments and connections where he is. He can't just pick up and move.

I see this same problem where Farmer is concerned. He's heading out this weekend to meet up with a girl that he met online. The problem? She lives about 7 hours east of his current location. So, if they hit if off, then what? I'm pretty sure he's not in any position to just pick up and move, either. And that is quite the commute for a LD relationship.

So, it comes down to time or money? Both Alaska and Farmer love what they do and make good money at it. But they both work incredibly long and hard hours. Farmer is MIA from May until September (if he's lucky). Alaska is gone every 4 weeks. Both of those schedules make it tough to have any type of time to commit to anything.

For both, I don't think it's undoable... but it would take a very specific type of person and relationship to accommodate that type of schedule I think. The little things would really count. And there would have to be understanding on both sides because you know frustration would crop up eventually.

After seeing what Farmer's schedule has been like this year, I didn't give him nearly enough credit while were together last year. He made a monumental effort to spend time with me, but I didn't see it for what it was. I was an idiot.

Yes, I know... I am admitting my mistake. Everyone, please, just remain calm... Thank you.

I am hoping he finds someone who appreciates him way better than I did... I have high hopes for him this weekend, even if he is remaining neutral on the subject...

After all... what are friends for? We root for you when you don't dare root for yourself...


  1. alaska is obviously saying his money/investments/connections are more important than his wife right now. it's ok for him to say that, but he just has to realize it's either her, or his specific lifestyle. i'm pretty sure he'll end up with the one he likes better.

  2. The more money you have, the more money you "need".

    I think the most important thing to consider is that most decisions like that have repercussions that last for YEARS. The question of "what is best for me now" is inextricably linked to "what is best for me in twenty years".

  3. Very true, Vicki... on both counts. He even made the comment: we never fought when we didn't have money...

    Just goes to show you that sometimes money can make things worse, not better. Which bodes well for me, since I have none ;)