Thursday, June 14, 2012

Brain dump, redux...

Ah... you thought the verbal vomit session was over, didn't you?

Oh no, my friend. We are just getting started. Because I have several thoughts tied to the general "genuine communication" thought and I need to get this shit outta my brain. STAT. It's taking up serious cargo space that needs to be allocated elsewhere.

The article (or blog) that started this whole genuine communication thought process.

Now, I will warn you... if you are the type of person that thinks that people and things should fit into neat little packages (and I understand if you do, I used to be one) then you probably should not read that blog post. I'm afraid your brain would explode and then where would we be? I would be down a reader and you would be food for the zombies. Either way, not good.

Now before you read the rest of what I have to say, you have to read that blog post... in it's entirety. Go ahead, I'll wait.

*drums fingers impatiently*

So, not to be distracted by the whole he's Mormon and gay thing, the part of this post that really spoke to me was this: "sex is about more than just visual attraction and lust and it is about more than just passion and infatuation. I won’t get into the boring details of the research here, but basically when sex is done right, at its deepest level it is about intimacy. It is about one human being connecting with another human being they love. It is a beautiful physical manifestation of two people being connected in a truly vulnerable, intimate manner because they love each other profoundly. It is bodies connecting and souls connecting. It is beautiful and rich and fulfilling and spiritual and amazing. Many people never get to this point in their sex lives because it requires incredible communication, trust, vulnerability, and connection."

You have no idea how much this simple paragraph has got me thinking. And it is tied to the whole idea of genuine communication... letting someone all the way in. To let them see the deepest, most imperfect parts of yourself and to know with absolute certainty that they will still honor and respect the person that you are... and are trying to become and still love you with their whole heart.

This is deep shit, people. And it has me thinking about chemistry, compatibility and intimacy. I used to think I was just looking for a good mix of the first two... chemistry and compatibility. However, I'm starting to realize that those first two are just a foundation for the most important part of the relationship: intimacy. That, my friends, is the glue that holds two people together through thick and thin. Not sex. Not the ability to get along. It is connecting on a level that brings two people together to face the world as one.

And that is a powerful thing, my friends. And something I hope to someday find...


  1. Found myself nodding along to the blue paragraph. I think I've found that. Now can I hold onto it?

    1. I think a lot of forget along the way that intimacy is a conscious decision... and that you have to work at it together. Mike seems like a smart guy who loves you deeply. I think you two will do OK :)