It's Christmas come early...

For the whole family.

Hay was delivered yesterday, but because I wasn't able to be there when it was stacked we ended up with bales within mouth-shot of Elmo. Never good...

Maybe she won't notice I can get to the hay...

Nom, nom, nom...

This is the best gift EVER...

The pups also got a treat. I let them up on the bed with me for a little while...

This is WAY more comfy than my bed...

Where's my ball?

And I got a little gift, as well...

My Christmas cactus is blooming...

And good things are on the horizon...

Oh, and I'm listening to Christmas music non-stop. Man, I love this time of year...

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

So, I don't have a lot of time to write today but I wanted to put up some pics from this morning and this weekend. Enjoy...

Dizzy and her offspring...

I can haz ball pleez?

I'm far too fat to go chasing after such things...

Railroad trying to figure out the Chuck-It®

Almost... not quite...

 Would you tell him to throw the ball already?

I want to chase the marshmallow...

This is my good side...

Good side? Do I have a good side?

A beautiful (but cold) day on Sunday...

Who cares about that? Just throw please... kthnx.

Sunrise over the coast range this morning...

Have a great Monday. Hopefully I'll have news on a place tomorrow...

And now for my next trick...

So yesterday was Thanksgiving. And how did I spend the holiday? Sleeping. A lot. Like all day. And all night...

But I'm finally feeling a little more human today. Which, for me is amazing considering that I am, in actuality, an alien... according to Farmer.

And I'm at work. OK, that part kinda sucks. But since I've been in bed since Tuesday afternoon I felt like it was time to rejoin the world again. And be "productive". Kinda. After all, I don't want to get too carried away on my first day in clothes other than PJ's in 3 days.

And for those of you that are sad that I was alone on Thanksgiving, fear not. Ally dropped off a great cough remedy (wearing rubber gloves and using tongs) and Railroad brought me some excellent grub from his Thanksgiving day feast. Not that I ate a lot, but the gesture was very nice... and brave. There are some very serious cooties running around my house, after all.

So, I'm upright... dressed... and sitting at my desk. Not bad. Now if people would just leave me alone so I can nap on my keyboard all would be right with the world...

I am thankful...

That even though I feel like every time I have a coughing fit that a lung might pop out, so far they have managed to stay put.

I have been deemed too sickly to join in the family festivities today, so I'm going solo (kinda) for Thanksgiving this year. This cold is kicking my butt. But Railroad has volunteered to brave my cooties to bring me some turkey and stuffing a little later...

Which brings me to the next thing I'm thankful for... my incredible friends and family. In this department I am truly one of the most blessed people on the face of this earth. They are always there for me. Always. Even when I'm trying to cough up a lung...

I am also thankful for my kids... the critters.

Hey, girls... do you mind? Trying to take a picture here...

That's better... kinda.

I'm thankful for my ball. Please throw... kthnx.

I am thankful for being such an awesome dog...

And for the little, fat dog to chase... Get back here!!

I will get you!! You are too chubby to get away...

I am also thankful for you, my readers. May you have an amazing and blessed day...

Nice guys finish last...

Actually, this is not true. Needy guys finish last. Nice guys get the whole package...

Being nice is a great personality trait and there's nothing wrong with being a nice person. So many men are under the impression that they were "too nice" and that's why they got stomped on and stepped over. Wrong!

Men who feel they are "too nice" are usually also "too needy". Trust me when I say, women love to be treated with respect and care. Jerks are not sought after by those of us that are looking for a quality relationship. The problem is most needy men confuse the two. We don't want you building your entire existence around us. It's just too much pressure...

Just like you don't like needy, neither do we. Everyone needs to have their own life and activities. Women, that goes for you too... 

Now, this is a fairly new concept for me. I always thought I was looking for my other half. Come to find out, I'm complete on my own. I'm looking for someone I can share things with, not for someone to fulfill something I haven't figured out on my own... because they can't.

Also, as wonderful as it is to do everything for everyone else, if you don't do things for yourself you're cheating us both. How can you be there for that woman in your life if you don't see to your own needs first? You can't.

Love is a wonderful thing, and it's a precious gift you can give to other people. However, most importantly, you must love yourself first. Until you can genuinely love yourself you can't love another person in a healthy way. So many nice guys mistakenly believe that if they worship the ground a woman walks on that she will automatically return the same treatment towards him. These expectations are nothing more than premeditated resentment. A built-in reason for failure. Not fair to us, or yourself...  

Making your happiness and existence too dependent on your relationships with others is a great way to failure. And something I had to learn the hard way...

And for the first time in my life I can actually say I love myself. I have worked hard to break the habits that I felt were unhealthy and have really become a person that I felt I could be. I exhibited a lot of traits that the "nice guys" had not realizing how suffocating those types of behavior can be. 

And now I'm on the right path. I'm not just looking for a relationship. I'm looking for the right relationship. A whole new thing for me...

Love it...

I'm still quite under the weather with this horrible cold...

But I did wake up to this sight...

Snow on the car...

Snow on the streets...

Snow in the pasture...

But no snow on the beach. That was a smidge disappointing...

However, it is still snowing on and off, so I may just see snow on the beach yet. However, I'm headed home and back to bed as soon as the paper is out so I may not see it... 

But the call of my bed is way louder than the call of the snow. Hope I feel better soon...

The dead zone...

So, I guess my letter to CPSL is working. Every time I walk outside (or pull up in my driveway) he scurries away and hides in his house like a cockroach.

Good. Just the way I like it.

There was also some crazy weather going on here at the coast this weekend.

We had this on Saturday:

I haz the ball. And sun...

It was sunny. Cold. Very cold. But sunny...

And then we had this on Sunday:

Yes, that is snow. At the coast...

 

The snow didn't last long, but it was kinda cool to see the snow falling on the ocean. That was a first. And made the rest of the weekend kinda nice. Until I got a cold. Again.

This morning I didn't want to get out of bed. And I would really love it if my head didn't feel like it was stuffed full of cotton. Moist cotton, that is...

I've been banned to the area of my desk. Apparently my co-workers don't want my cooties. Can't blame 'em...

The plot thickens...

Or is that the bullshit? Meh, I forget...

You know how when you watch those murder/mystery shows, and there is a point when someone just snaps and then it gets all crazy-weird and someone dies? Yeah, it's kinda like that but without the death... I hope.

CPSL has gone completely off the reservation. When I got home on Friday night there was a notice to evict with cause taped to my door. I opened up the paperwork and literally almost fell over backwards laughing. This guy is nuts. Completely. Batshit. Crazy.

In the paperwork he said that I owe him $878 for late payment fees and penalties and then $618 for last months rent... for a grand total of $1496.

I laughed until I cried. And then I got pissed.

First of all, when I moved in I paid first, last and a deposit. So, last month's rent is taken care of. End of story.

Now for the $878 he's claiming for late payment fees and penalties. According to our written and signed lease I owe $25 when late and $25 if I bounce a check. Period. He was trying to tell me I owed him for all the bank fees he incurred because I was late and/or bounced a check. Um, no. If you can't manage your finances better than that, that is not my problem. And, of course, I have the lease and the law to back me up.

Then I actually started reading the lease. Come to find out I had been overpaying for internet for a year. He states that he would provide Cable TV and High Speed Internet but didn't attach any additional cost in writing. I had been paying $18/mo for it.

So, I wrote him a rebuttal and remedy to his Notice to Terminate and detailed out all the accounting. In the end I have overpaid by $139 and stated that I would be looking for that to be included with my fully refundable security deposit within 31 days of moving out.

But I had to spend a fair amount of my day yesterday rounding up all the records so I could detail out exactly what I had paid and when. Not the best use of my time...

But more than that, the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that this had a practiced air to it. I'm wondering how many other tenants he's tried to bully and steal from in the past. In this case, he picked a fight with the wrong girl. I was in property management for 4 years and went to eviction court several times for the property I worked for. In other words, this is not my first time at this rodeo...

Typically he's the passive/aggressive sort, so I'm wondering how he'll handle my rebuttal. I basically stated that any other verbal or written correspondence regarding this matter would be considered harassment. I'm hoping that will keep him far away from me until I can get the hell out of here.

I'm not sure what started all of this nonsense, but I get the feeling that CPSL is a very desperate man. Word on the street is that the bank is coming after his house and this is why it's on the market. Since I see the legals every week while putting together the classifieds I guess we'll see if that is actually the case.

Either way, I'm ready to get out. I've looked at a place that I think will work out well and now I'm just waiting to hear what the deposit will be. Hopefully something I can afford...

And right before the holidays, too...

About a week ago CPSL came to me and told me that he was putting the house up for sale. I asked him what that meant for me and he said that if it did sell that he could work it into the sale of the house. So, I didn't give it much thought.

Last night when I got home there was a notice on my door that he was giving me 30 days notice and that I have until December 20 to be out. Excuse me? WTF?

I went over and asked him what the hell was going on. He was a jerk and didn't say much... At this point I'm assuming it has something to do with the sale of the house. Either way, doesn't matter... time to go anyway. Having to air my dogs out after they've been at his house is not fun (they come home reeking of pot).

So, the hunt begins. The only crappy part is that it is right before Christmas. Of course.

So, don't expect any super-spiffy gifts from me this year...

Ghost in the machine...

Last night I was laying in bed watching TV when all of a sudden the TV started changing channels. By itself. I frantically looked around to see if I was laying on the remote... I wasn't. I turned the TV off and back on again. Flipped back to my channel of choice and it flipped back to the channel it was on.

At this point I was starting to get a little concerned. Was there a ghost in my TV? If so, couldn't it pick a better channel to watch at least?

Then I realized that on my set it said TV 1. Hmmmmmm....

On the set-up that I am on with CPSL, they are TV 1 and I am TV 2. It seemed that during the power outage the box had reverted back to single mode vs. dual mode. So, I was seeing everything they were doing over in their house. And boy, is their taste in TV bad. Must be the pot...

Anywho, I ran over and changed it back to dual mode. Problem solved.

And not a moment too soon. I almost missed Survivor...

Free lawnmower to a good home...

If he doesn't stay put this time.

Yes, that's right. Elmo was out again on Monday when I went to go feed (he had used his sizable girth to bend the fence down and get out). And then again yesterday.

Neighbors pissed. Mower pissed. Me pissed. Elmo happy to be able to graze wherever he felt like...

So yesterday I caught him and then tied him to a tree. Problem solved. OK, not really... although it was very tempting to just leave him there. I'm sure Mower would have applauded that decision. The rest of the animal loving world, not so much.

So today I took the morning off from work and completely reconfigured the pasture. I was using the existing (hahahaha) fence for 3 sides and then using hot tape for the 4th side. When I went to look at the "existing" fence, I saw that it (in actuality) was not actually there. Like nothing. No fence at all. Just big blackberry bushes... which will hold in Flash and Aspen, but not Frank the Tank. Or Elmo. Or whatever curse word I'm using for his name that day.

So, I decided that I would just use the hot tape around the whole thing up to the barn and corral area. It took a while and it was very damp. By the time I was done I was covered in mud and soaking wet... but I did it. Success.

Now, if that doesn't hold him I'm just going to tie him to the tree. Permanently...

You really can use it for everything...

A few weekends ago I scraped my knee. Not badly, but there was a nice scab on it. And amazingly enough I had left it alone and hadn't been picking at it... I'm really, really bad about that.

So, last night as I was getting out of my car I banged my boobooed knee on the dash. It hurt a little but I didn't think anything of it. I went in, got the pups and was doing a few odds and ends when all of a sudden I felt wetness running down my leg. I looked down and saw this:

Oops. I hope that comes out...

So I put some tissue on it and tried to get it to stop bleeding. It didn't even look that bad...

See? Hardly anything...

And yet the damn thing wouldn't stop bleeding. And, of course, being a poor single-type person, I do not own band-aids (I can hear flip-flop groaning now... sorry mom). So instead I made my own out of toilet paper and duct tape.

All better. And quite stylish too...

That stuff is amazing. You really can use duct tape to fix anything... including a booboo. 

And since Elmo was out yet again this morning, I'm highly considering duct taping him to a tree. Permanently...

Too bad I can't just tie him to a tree...

And leave him there. Seriously.

It started on Thursday. I got a call from Mower saying that Elmo was out. At that time Mower couldn't catch him so I left work (in the middle of a busy deadline, I might add) to go round him up and see what the problem was.

As soon as I pulled up, Elmo ran straight up to me and wanted a scritch on the forehead. So I threw a piece of twine around his neck and put him back in the pasture. By that time Mower was hiking back up the hill. Apparently the elk had been through and had knocked down a good portion of the fence but he had strung it back up. But because it was draping along a lot of foliage it wasn't hot. I didn't really worry about that at that time... I figured it would be good enough to hold him until the weekend when I could really get it fixed up again.

Guess I was wrong. Because the fence wasn't hot he would just duck under the top strand and step over the bottom strand and help himself to the grass, the neighbors garden (they weren't too excited about a 1,000 pound horse munching on their garden goodies) and the other neighbors flowers. He was quickly becoming equina non grata. And I kept getting calls from Mower about him going walk-about.

Unfortunately the solar charger wasn't getting enough sun but there wasn't a power supply down to the hot fence to put an electric charger on there. I told mower until we got power down there, there wasn't much I was going to be able to do...

On Saturday when I arrived to begin fence fixage Elmo was, once again, out. Of course. Why stay in a pasture with no grass when you can just let yourself out and eat to your heart's content? Grrrrr....

Anywho, I just left him to graze and started taking the fence down and restringing it. The previous time when I had looked, it only seemed that the top portion up around the barn needed to be dealt with. Wrong. The whole thing was in shambles (grumble, grumble, damn elk, grumble). So I took both strands down and began to restring the whole fence... which consists of stringing it along a very steep hillside as well.

Damn. That's steep...

How steep? Well, it's "I'm hanging onto a tree for dear life" steep...

 

The top strand went up just fine and without incident. We cut away any foliage touching the strand and then plugged it in. Then I put Elmo back in the pasture.

I then proceeded to put up the bottom strand (which isn't hot) and that was going pretty well until I started down the hillside again. At that point Noelle, who was tearing up and down the hillside with Daisy, ran into me and I lost my footing and slipped and fell and proceeded to slide about 20 feet down the hill... getting mud into places it ought not to be. Like down my pants. Up my shirt. In my hair. In my shoes (I was only wearing my rubber Crocks). In my teeth (don't ask, 'cause I'm not sure). And when Mower caught site of me he laughed. I gave him the stink-eye.

I also learned a very important lesson on that slide down the hill... which is: if you are going to grab onto the fence to help arrest your fall, it is much wiser to grab the non-hot strand. I, unfortunately, grabbed the top strand. It hurt. A lot. That sucker was HOT. 

Good news was that I was sure it was getting plenty of juice to keep Elmo off of it.

When I got home and got in the shower, the water was a very distasteful color for almost 5 minutes. Getting the dried mud out of my hair wasn't easy and required several shampooings.

For the rest of Saturday and Sunday he stayed put. 

When I went out to feed this morning he was out again. Damn this horse is a nuisance. 

I put him away again and then proceeded to walk the fence seeing if I could figure out where he was getting out. The hot fence was fine. When I came around the other side of the barn by the far gate I saw this:

 Hoofie prints on the wrong side of the gate...

There used to be about a 1 foot gap between the fence and the post of the gate. However, Elmo had apparently used his significant girth to widen the gap so he could get out.

Any gap is an opportunity in Elmo's mind...

Notice the very bent t-post on the right-hand side... and the traumatized tree that got trampled in the process of his escape. Poor thing...

Hopefully this will do the trick...

Man that horse is becoming a serious pain in my ass...

It looks good on paper...

I'm not sure if I've discussed this particular phenomenon of my internet dating experience or not, but I seem to have trouble getting to a second date... sometimes by my choosing, but mostly by theirs.

I've had several men read my online profile and then send me a message wondering how I'm still single. On paper I look like a good deal. However, when they actually meet me in person somehow it doesn't translate.

I'm like the Ryan Leaf of internet dating... (for those of you non-sports types... Ryan Leaf was drafted #1 out of college and was possibly the biggest flop in the NFL to date)

I do have a couple of theories on this. I'm kinda thinking it's one of two things...

1. People get an image in their head when you read a profile, look at someone's pictures and chat by text and phone... and when I don't meet the mental image they've created it falls flat.

2. Men (more than women, I think) are looking for that absolute instant chemistry. But I have met some men and my initial impression was not so much... but then after spending some time with them and really getting to know them, some of those not so much men became some of the best relationships I ever had.

Still, it's hard not to take it personally. I know I have a lot to offer and the right person will see that... right? Right? Right.

Now the other problem... When I do choose to go on a second date, that's when I typically find out about all the baggage that I really don't want to deal with... not over an ex, been in jail, not divorced, a closet smoker, or just a jerk. Thus far, my track record is not good.

I know at this age we're all going to have some baggage... that's a given. But I am at the point in my life where I'm going to be pretty choosy about what I want to deal with. And the list is getting shorter and shorter...

Still, there is hope. I got this fortune when I went and got sushi the other night: A new relationship is about to blossom. You will be blessed.

Sounds promising, right? Right? Right...

Perhaps we need to define the word "drama"...

Actual definition of drama: any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results...

Last night I get a call from Farmer (actually it ended up being like 5 or 6 calls) about his current situation... which involved him driving to somewhere in Washington and hauling a horse through the ghetto of Pasco and delivering it to... well, somewhere else. Oh yeah, and he hadn't actually met this girl before... she was a contact from the internet dating site.

(Yes, he does have "SUCKER" tattooed on his forehead if you were wondering)

So, of course, I must know the story... but he didn't have the whole story. Yet. That comes later. All he knew was that she needed to move her horse out of Location A and deposit it to Location B (and why she would pick a stranger she's never met before to do this defies explanation... but anywho). Oh, and she mentioned there wouldn't be any drama. OK. Good to know.

Except her definition of drama seems to vary from, well... the rest of the world's.


So, here is the text conversation after Farmer asked for the whole story (after horse was already moved and he was headed home)...

Crazy: Just 2 clarify...i dated him years ago..so there is no drama

He just wanted the horse gone

Farmer: So whats the whole story? Why'd you need to move the horse?

Crazy: She had only been there one month

Prior 2 that she was at my friend bryans house

I only moved her 2 petes house cause there was more ppl in burbank 2 ride with and for some reason he got it in his head that i was moving her out there so i  could work stuff out with him

However...i never said that he just assumed

which is his fault

so instead of telling me that he was butt hurt over it he began telling me i was neglecting my horse..which i don't....i was just neglecting giving him the attention he wanted......so he told me i had 1 week 2 move her after i 've dumped thousands into his land

which is his fault for assuming and not communicating

had he said that was a stipulation or expectation then i'd have never moved her

he chased me for 3 years in RN school and i always told him we were just friends...he couldn't handle that...  Last year he proposed and we had never even dated...that lasted only 3 months and he broke it off cause i worked lots of hours and he said i chose my career over him

(wait... you never dated but you said yes to a proposal? methinks that is not quite the way things went down)

I said "whatever" and tried 2 b friends and he can't handle friends so i just have 2 walk away so he can heal

so r we good or r u weirded out?

(I know I'm weirded out)

 

what i ment by "no drama" was that there is no yelling or fighting or white trash shit gonna go on

(thanks for clarifying your definition of drama)

farmer: no, i'm not weirded out, just had a feeling there was more to the story
(I'm hoping he said this because he doesn't want her showing up on his doorstep with a shotgun) 

crazy: and i told u only b/c i had nothing 2 hide

Had i not said ne thing u'd have never known.  but that's not me...i'm honest 2 a fault

ok well sorry.....this was not the way i wanted 2 meet u

(now I'm curious as to how her normal meet-and-greets go... and why she had not one other single person on the face of this earth that she could call to help her move a horse... makes ya wonder. I mean, I know Farmer isn't an ax murderer... but she didn't know that)

farmer: no worries...shit happens thats all

(again, I'm kinda hoping he's just saying this for self-preservation's sake...)

Once he was home and we were discussing his crazy evening with Crazy, I have decided to upgrade myself from crazy to pretty-damn-normal... 

The party for this momentous event will be at 3... 

*Deep sigh...

Sometimes work is just so much, well... work.

The bane of my existence is, once again, due to the printer by end of day tomorrow. I just got the information today. Which means it's going to be a long night... Basically I've just started the stupid thing and I'm already sick of it.

Not a good way to start hump day.

So, mentally I'm going to my happy place...

That's where I'll be if you need me...

Integrity is so last year...

Clown called me a few nights ago to tell me about this article he was reading in maxim titled "Sex: Have your cake and eat it too". Written by a woman telling men how to get away with cheating on their spouse or significant other...

He thought it sucked. So do I...

Full article here: http://www.maxim.com/amg/humor/stupid-fun/87491/sex-have-your-cake-eat-it-too.html

Basic points:
1. Make your girl a guy. If it is, in fact, that whore in your office that you've been boning that is calling or texting, by no means should she be in your phone under her real name—or a female name at all. I mean, there is no way your lady is going to think it odd that your buddy "Chuck" is sending you texts saying how hot your ass is. Uh huh...
2. Hackproof your life. Self-explanatory.
3. Always be reachable... even if you have to stop mid-whatever to do it. This one makes me speechless.
4. Take it to the grave. Again, self-explanatory.
5. Choose wisely. Perhaps the single most important factor in having your affair go unnoticed is choosing a girl who won’t—or can’t—throw you under the bus. Newsflash: no such thing exists. There is a reason the saying is: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

I'm so blown away by the idiocy of this article that I will just highlight the parts I found most offensive. Well, actually the whole premise is quite offensive... is there no integrity in the world anymore? I mean, who would read this crap and think "yeah, now I have the tools to get away with it"?

If you want to be a cheating bastard, go find a whore who could care less (and is most likely cheating on you too) and leave the rest of us with morals, integrity and a heart out of it.

We don't want you, or whatever diseases you might be bringing home...

It's a sign...

A sign of what, though?

Only time will tell...

A plethera of pups...

I'm here at Farmer's for the weekend... to check on Flash and to pester my friend with my unending laundry until he kicks me out.

Today, Farmer decided that going to see a bunch of trucks, tractors and stuff was more exciting than riding with me (his priorities are in serious question sometimes) so I decided to take all the pups for a ride with Flash and I.

Your eyes do not deceive you. There are four fuzzy butts ahead of us...

...and a pint-sized one riding by my side.

We passed this gobbler who might not be long for this world.

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and there was hardly any wind. And Flash was feeling pretty frisky after lots of food and relatively no exercise. I was not thrilled with how he chose to show it. Trying to buck is not acceptable behavior regardless of what he thinks.

Finally the little annoying one is not pestering me. Let's turn around and go the other way, Mom. They'll never notice...

Flash: Yummm, grass. Dogs: Yummm, cow poop.

Flash's lover Dante (on the left) and his son, Jack (on the right).

Oh yeah, lots of cow poop to roll in. I smell soooo good now...

Hey mom, do you mind? We're trying to have a moment here...

They wuv each other... Thank goodness there's a fence between them.

It also looks like Flash has put on a little weight, so that is good. With all the food that is lying around I find it hard to believe that he's not a walking blimp... but he's not. Grrrrrrr... 

That horse is going to be the death of me, someday...