Wednesday, November 3, 2010

And the debate continues...

Ah, my friend Six... always putting forth the interesting questions.

Text from last night (no... not the site, the question he sent me): So what is the morality of establishing an emotional connection and then sleeping together and finding out the sex is really bad... then breaking it off?

So, I actually have several thoughts about this scenario...

#1. I'm not sure this is a morality issue. It is a real relationship issue and one that I have intimate knowledge of. In my opinion, a relationship is made up of three components... emotional, physical, spiritual. If one isn't working, none are. They are all dependent upon one another. And walking away from something because parts aren't working is OK by me. I mean, of course, I don't think that you should bail at the first sign of trouble, but when you reach an impasse it's time to move on.

#2. With good communication comes good sex. I may be wrong on this one, but don't think I am... but it's been known to happen. I just think that if you have real open lines of communication that you can work out what is tragic in the bedroom.

#3. Out of all the problematic issues, bad sex is probably the easiest to fix if there aren't serious underlying issues. Emotional or spiritual issues seem to be way harder to get a fix on vs. physical. But incompatibilities in the physical realm can, and do, happen. Some people are super-affectionate (like me, for instance). Some people are not (like ex-hub... his idea of a kiss was pecking me like a chicken). When you get too far apart on this issue it can become an issue and either you meet in the middle or move on.

I think the key to any issue is communication. If you have open communication and are honest about the place you are coming from, most things can be worked out. If you don't, it won't...

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