Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Nice guys finish last...

Actually, this is not true. Needy guys finish last. Nice guys get the whole package...

Being nice is a great personality trait and there's nothing wrong with being a nice person. So many men are under the impression that they were "too nice" and that's why they got stomped on and stepped over. Wrong!

Men who feel they are "too nice" are usually also "too needy". Trust me when I say, women love to be treated with respect and care. Jerks are not sought after by those of us that are looking for a quality relationship. The problem is most needy men confuse the two. We don't want you building your entire existence around us. It's just too much pressure...

Just like you don't like needy, neither do we. Everyone needs to have their own life and activities. Women, that goes for you too... 

Now, this is a fairly new concept for me. I always thought I was looking for my other half. Come to find out, I'm complete on my own. I'm looking for someone I can share things with, not for someone to fulfill something I haven't figured out on my own... because they can't.

Also, as wonderful as it is to do everything for everyone else, if you don't do things for yourself you're cheating us both. How can you be there for that woman in your life if you don't see to your own needs first? You can't.

Love is a wonderful thing, and it's a precious gift you can give to other people. However, most importantly, you must love yourself first. Until you can genuinely love yourself you can't love another person in a healthy way. So many nice guys mistakenly believe that if they worship the ground a woman walks on that she will automatically return the same treatment towards him. These expectations are nothing more than premeditated resentment. A built-in reason for failure. Not fair to us, or yourself...  

Making your happiness and existence too dependent on your relationships with others is a great way to failure. And something I had to learn the hard way...

And for the first time in my life I can actually say I love myself. I have worked hard to break the habits that I felt were unhealthy and have really become a person that I felt I could be. I exhibited a lot of traits that the "nice guys" had not realizing how suffocating those types of behavior can be. 

And now I'm on the right path. I'm not just looking for a relationship. I'm looking for the right relationship. A whole new thing for me...

2 comments:

  1. "Actually, this is not true. Needy guys finish last. Nice guys get the whole package..."

    You hit the nail on the head!

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  2. Hear, hear! Well said, Shar. You can add, "Only you can make yourself happy. If you're expecting to pick up a mate who will do that for you, you'll be sorely mistaken and terribly disappointed."

    I love all your posts, but I love, love, love this post.

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