My bff and I were talking tonight (always a dangerous proposition... especially when you add in wine) about past relationships and what worked and what didn't work. The conversation eventually migrated to sex and why certain things work and why certain things don't.
Men are much more physically motivated than women. Nothing new, I know... but good to reaffirm anyway. Men are happy just getting any... doesn't have to be in a ground-breaking relationship, either. (Or perhaps they are better off when it isn't? I'll have to check with my male buds on that one.) Whereas women, on the other hand, want it to mean something... it's a curse and a blessing. The curse: we're much more picky on who we're going to let in that arena... translation: we're not getting as nearly as much as we'd like to. The blessing: we're much more picky on who we're going to let in that arena... translation: we don't have to put up with the one night stand bullshit and all that comes with it.
Women want to be taken care of. Now before you bash my head in for saying it, think about it for a minute. I am an independent woman, so I hear what you are thinking... but I gotta admit, sometimes it's a really nice thing when the decision is removed from your hands (and this translates to the bedroom as well). Nothing is more sexy than a guy confidently asserting what he thinks is best... now, it can get out of hand - and he needs to be willing to take "no" for an answer if you're really not feeling it... but other than that, it's a good thing. Sometimes we just want someone to shoulder the burden for a few hours... although we can't say this. We don't want to appear weak, but we do want the help and support. A tough line to walk, fellas. But if you can find the balance you are as good as gold.
Confidence in the bedroom makes up for a lot of things. If you don't have confidence here, you might as well throw in the towel. This is the one place where you have to fake it until you make it... as my mom would say. I speak from experience on this one, so you're just going to have to trust me on it. Nothing is worse than a seriously damaged ego in the bedroom (ex-hub suffered from this)... and nothing is more sexy than a confident partner in the bedroom (the Biologist had it in spades). Size really doesn't matter... it's all about what you do with it. I promise.
Don't be afraid to say what's on your mind. This little fact has made and broken many a relationship. You need to be who you are. Tough to do, I know. There are very few people who get to see the real me... I'm always petrified of what people will think. I tend to censor quite a bit. But, if you're trying to build a relationship, this is one of those things that you have to do. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't know and understand who you really are.
OK... I think my musings are done for now... feel free to add in your own additions in the comments.
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