I'm so petty... Oh, so petty...

Holy crap.

He went without me.

The Biologist actually attempted the long ride without me. WTF? OK, for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, read about it here.

I'm completely torn on how I feel about this. The very bitchy, snarky and, yes, petty part of me was very happy to know that he couldn't do it without me. That he wasn't even going to try it without me. Now, come to find out, he did give it a try and damn near got himself killed... by running out of water. How the hell do you run out of water when you have a water filter? Just find a puddle. Seriously. And if you can't find a puddle, what the hell were the horses doing for water? One of the big things on this ride was going to be making sure the horses came first.

Damn it!! I need more details. I've only heard a little bit second hand from a friend. So I don't know exactly what happened (and probably never will). But the gist is he went out, made it about a week, ran out of water and just happened to come across someone on the trail that happened to have a cell phone. A mutual friend packed up her horse, drove for however long, saddled up and rode around for 4 hours looking for him because the gps wasn't working and he couldn't give her coordinates. Again, WTF? When she found him, he was in the grasps of heat-stroke. Not sure how the horses were.

He got lucky. Could have meant his life. Again, not sure how I feel about that. Part of me is like "I told you, you shouldn't do it alone". Part of me is like "Serves you right for not planning better and just in general not being very smart about things". Part of me is like "Good for you for at least making the attempt" (and that's the smallest part, I must admit).

The worst part, though, is being the last to know. This was going to be my ride too. This was going to be my life, as well... and not even a phone call saying he was leaving or what had happened while he was out.

Damn it... I had no idea how little I meant. I guess this spells it out loud and clear.

Not sure how I feel about that, either.