Monday, June 29, 2009

See, it's not just me...

OK... before I get down to what I really wanted to talk about today, I just had to share. Weasel, from WWHM posted this link on his site and I about fell over from laughing. Some things I could be OK with, but this guy is completely over the edge. I always find it amusing that completely average, middle-aged men think that they will somehow be hooking up with HOT, younger women. So, if you can stomach it, it's pretty dang funny. Enjoy...

Now, on to what my original thoughts were for today...

This weekend I did some camping with Farmer and his good friend Hoofer. Hoofer is a divorced, 40-something guy. Not bad looking, has some bad habits (smokes), but for the most part fairly reasonable as men go.

He (Hoofer) had been dating a barrel racer. Nice girl with 2 kids.

As we were headed back up the trail to the campsite on Sat, I asked Hoofer how things were going with BR. He informed me it was over. And being the inquisitive sort (and for good fodder for the blog), I asked him to elaborate on why things had ended in such a short period of time.

First he tells me that she's too clingy. Now I know what I think is too clingy. I was just dying to hear what his version was... Basically, she wanted to be able to plan things in advance and be able to do things with him on a regular basis. He, on the other hand, wanted to be able to go and do whatever he felt like at that moment. For instance... she would want to know his schedule and then plan for something around it. He, on the other hand, would want to come home and just see how he felt about things and then go from there. Neither way is better than the other... but with 2 kids, tough to do. And, like I've said in the past, if you're going to be the beneficiary of the relationship, you need to put in the effort as well.

So, as I'm asking questions on this, Hoofer stops his horse and turns around to me and says "actually she wasn't satisfying me sexually".

OK, now you're speaking my language. After being in a basically sexless marriage for 7 years, this is one argument that I totally get. And I turned around to Farmer and said "see, it's not just me".

Like I've said in the past... sex is NOT the glue that will hold you together. But, it can be the deal-breaker if one side or the other isn't getting what they need. It's not the first priority in a relationship, but it does represent a good portion. I mean sex is the physical expression of how you feel about one another. Without it, intimacy is almost impossible to maintain, at least in my experience.

And let me just say, sex is different things to different people. That's why the lines of communication MUST be open. You need to be able to discuss what works for you and what doesn't. Without being able to voice that, you run the risk of either falling into a rut or someone stepping outside the relationship to find what they so desperately need. In a worse-case scenario, the relationship can fall apart completely.

So, I was glad to hear that I wasn't the only one concerned with this aspect of relationships. Made my day :)

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