Cat's out of the bag now...

OK, before we begin I'd like to welcome my mother to the blog. Apparently she was running low on internet reading and had heard me talking about my blog. She doesn't necessarily care for some of the language I use, but that's the risk you take in jumping down the rabbit hole that is my brain (and this blog). So, mom, I apologize... but it's going to happen again (so brace yourself).

And now back to our regular programming...

So, mom found out about the relationship before I had a chance to sit her down and break it to her gently. What's the big deal, you ask? Oh yeah, did I mention that Farmer is 10 years younger than I am? Oh wait... did I mention it was Farmer? Whoops, my bad on both accounts.

I think for the first time ever my mom was speechless... I mean REALLY speechless. OK, she might have a small point. After all, I am the oldest of 6 kids and Farmer is the same age as kid number 5, my sis. Kinda makes it a might bit weird. But what it comes down to is this... I don't care. He doesn't care. End of story... right? Well, his parents aren't exactly in the know yet, so I guess we shall see what they have to say about an "older" woman putting the moves on their only son. Ought to be interesting. They have known me for a while, so that might make things better... or that much worse. I have no sense of how that will go down. Hopefully I won't end up as persona non-grata at family functions.

So, age is one problem we're dealing with. Another is location. He always said he was geographically challenged... I guess he wasn't kidding. We are currently about 3 hours apart. Not too big a deal until you add in that the only vehicle I have running is my Ford F250 with the 460. It costs me roughly $120 round trip in that beast. So, that right there cuts down on how many times a month I can make the drive. Yeah, the pooper snooper is in full swing, but it's not like I'm rolling in money. I'm trying to find something in his area, but it's pretty rural... not sure what the odds are at this point. But, I'm not giving up. I guess for now I'm stuck with the commute.

So all of these early complications has put my brain in overdrive... his brain, on the other hand, I think is about to explode. I can't tell he's thinking about quite a few things in relation to us, but when I ask him to give me the update on the thought process, he's got nothing to say. Apparently we operate very differently... he is one of those people who sees a problem, does the figuring in his head and then spouts out an answer. But this is a hard process for me to understand. I don't just want to hear the answer, I really want to know how he got there. It's like Mathematics... I need to see the work that went into figuring out the answer in order to really understand. But, I don't think that aspect of him is ever going to change, so my curiosity as to how he arrived there will never be satisfied. Can I live with it? Hell, yes. Am I thrilled about it? Hell, no. But, it is what it is...

Which brings me to the next issue... how to get someone who is only used to depending upon himself to share in this lifestyle of his. I want to be able to help out. I see how hard he works and I see places where I could really step in and help... but I don't know how. These are things that I don't know a whole lot about yet and I can't just osmosis the knowledge out of thin air... but I'll be damned if I'm just going to sit around and do nothing. I won't... I can't... it's just not my style (mom, stop laughing... I'm talking irrigation, feeding and such... not dishes). So, how to reconcile this little issue? Hell, with ex-hub I would have tap-danced on the table if he had ever offered to help out around the barn or with the pasture or horses. But now I have the exact opposite problem. The one good thing though is that we can talk about it. Not sure how exactly that will all shake out, but we'll get it figured out eventually. We're both just so used to doing it all ourselves.

I guess as far as problems go, this isn't too bad. Now, if I could just find a fuel-efficient car...