Friday, July 24, 2009

Pushme Pullyou...

So, I shook off the crazy yesterday afternoon and decided to join Farmer on a trip into the tri-cities. I was feeling much better and ready to get out of bed and out of the house... finally.

So, we ran a few errands and had dinner. We flirted and joked on the drive there and back. Once we were back in town he dropped me off at the feedlot to pick up my car. On the drive home, a good friend of mine from Idaho, Nickers, gave me a call. I hadn't really had the chance to talk to her since I moved back from Idaho, so we had a lot to catch up on. And I chatted with her all the way back to the house.

I was still talking to her once I came in the house. By this time, Farmer had his shirt off and had sat behind me with his legs wrapped around me. Needless to say, I was having a hard time concentrating on what Nickers was saying. It was time to get off the phone. While I was trying to wrap up the conversation, Farmer hopped up and from the bedroom door gave me the best come-hither look I think I've ever seen from a man (he even crooked a finger at me).

As I came into the bedroom, Farmer gave me another great look and then proceeded to... turn on the TV? Wait a second... this is not where I thought this was going.

And that slow burn I had going immediately turned into ice. I could kill ex-hub for that response. When I talked to Farmer about it later, he explained that his thought was that we had all night... what was the rush? And I get that. Not everything needs to happen on my schedule. But at the time, I was not a happy camper.

Now that I've given it some thought, I've decided that this is an ego survival instinct. After so much rejection from ex-hub over the years, my ego has decided that if you don't want it when it wants you... then fine, it will go over there and pout in the corner for the next 5 hours. I have got to get it over this. Question is... how?

Although there is one thing that my ego took serious offense to that I am going to back up... sex while the TV is on is never OK. Just my opinion, but that's when ruts start to form. If you can't even kill the boob-tube while having an intimate moment with someone, something is seriously wrong. At the time, I couldn't find the damn remote or I would have turned the darn thing off.

Farmer had no idea that this was a crime against humanity. Most men might actually back him up. I know his buddy Hoofer probably would. But men, if you want to keep your women happy and feeling satisfied... turn off the TV. Trust me, she'll thank you for it.

* bonus points for anyone who can tell me where the title comes from...


  1. I lose, I have no idea where this title comes from.

    With my ex, I went to fredrick's one night and bought a cute little lingerie outfit. When I went to his house, I changed into it and came out. When I got him to finally take a look at me, he smiled, and said "put your clothes back on."

    I don't think I've ever been more offended in my life. When a chick is SUGGESTING intimacy, don't you think guys would normally jump at the opportunity? His response: "I want to go out tonight, I don't want to spend the entire night in.."

    That totally wasn't the point, but whatevs. Reason number 542 I broke up with him :)

    Funny thing is, my car got broken into that night and that outfit was stolen...

  2. A pushme pullyou was an animal found on Dr. Doolitte's island. It was the front half of a gazelle (head, neck, front feet) on both sides... in other words, there wasn't a rear end, per se. It had 2 heads that faced away from each other. So it never knew if it was pushing me or pulling you... hence the name.