The "infamous Idaho trip of '10" - Part II

OK... brace yourselves. Here we go...

Friday, September 24:

The morning did not start off well... during the night my nose had apparently dried out and when I woke up it was bleeding. Then my allergies hit. So, not only was my nose bleeding but I couldn't breath out of it either. At that point I just rammed some tissue paper up there and called it good, since breathing wasn't happening any way. Ex-hub was not impressed with the look, but I didn't care.

We then struck out for the house in Blackfoot (about 20 miles North). Coming out of Pocatello there is a big hill to climb and on the way up the hill the truck's radiator decided to explode. There was smoke pouring out from under the hood. I rapidly pulled over to the side of the road, popped the hood and took a look. There was radiator fluid leaking everywhere and at first it looked like it had cracked. Since the cap was cool, I decided to pop that off and see what the fluid level was... instead I ended up with radiator fluid spurting out everywhere. Including all over my flip-flops.

At that point, I fought off a melt-down (no room in the budget for a radiator repair) and decided to call Farmer... I tried to leave him alone through the majority of the trip, but I needed someone to remind me what I needed to be looking for. He told me to look at the hoses and then see if I could locate a leak. So, I let the truck cool off, put some water in the radiator, checked the hoses (which were fine) and started it back up... at which point I could find no leak. No water came gushing out. The truck was running nice and cool, minus the horrific squealing of the coolant-covered belts. I sat and let it run for a while making sure it wasn't going to explode again. And... no explosion.

Just at about that time a cop pulled up behind us. Normally I would celebrate such a thing, but right then I was not too thrilled to see him since I had expired plates on the truck and the trailer... oh, and no working lights on the trailer (since the magnetic lights were now toast). I jumped out of the truck and was peering under the hood when he walked up. I explained to him what had happened and told him that now everything seemed fine. He then said to give them a ring if we needed a tow and, thankfully, drove off. I pulled back out onto the road and we made our way to the house.

When we got there (at about 7:30am) I was greeted with this site:

All the furniture that somehow has to fit in the trailer...

My camper. Possibly the only thing worth coming back for...

One set of boxes (there were about 3x this amount) that have to somehow all fit into the camper...

Needless to say, I was pretty overwhelmed just looking at all the crap that needed to fit into a very small amount of space. Ex-hub and I decided that since we would need to make several runs to Goodwill and the dump that we would need to leave the camper off the truck for now and start sorting through everything and getting them split into piles. There was keep, donate and trash. It totally reminded me of an episode of "Clean Sweep". And I was ruthless... ex-hub kept trying to salvage, I just kept throwing crap onto the donate and trash piles. He was not a happy camper. But I kept reminding him that we had a very limited amount of space.

By 5ish that night, we had sorted and consolidated quite a bit. What he needed 20 boxes for was now combined down to 8. And then we started loading up the camper... but then it dawned on me that if we put too much in there while still on the barrels that the jacks would never be able to get that much weight lifted and onto the truck. So we set the majority of the boxes aside and decided to call it a night. By that time, Wildflower and Lucky had come to visit...

Wildflower brought her pups... Kiara (left) and Cosmo (right)

 Wildflower waving "hi"... Lucky and her baby in the background...

I was pretty done at that point and so Wildflower and I, along with Weird (remember him? Wildflower's boyfriend) and ex-hub decided to take a trip down to Lava for some excellent Thai food and a soak in the hot springs.

Weird actually wasn't all that weird, actually (might have to come up with a new name for him... like Bear. He is a very hairy man). Ex-hub was standard ex-hub... didn't join in the conversation much and just generally looked put-out to be there. I just ignored him. Amazing how those skills come back even after a few years of not needing them. Overall it was a great time. By 10pm we were all tired and ex-hub and I headed back to Pocatello to crash. By 3am I was sick... either din-din hadn't agreed with me or the stress was catching up to me. Tough to tell which one. Either way, there wasn't much sleep to be had.

Saturday, September 25:

By morning, the puking had ceased but I still wasn't feeling too hot. There was a trail ride going on that morning, so I decided to drive up and say hi to everyone. It was good to see all my friends again. At one point I though I might actually ride, but the drive up convinced me that it was not a good idea... going over all the rough road had made me nauseous again.... crap.

Instead, after greeting everyone and chit-chatting a bit I headed back down the mountain, gathered up ex-hub and decided to get back to work packing. Which was a good thing... we were going to need all the time we had.

The first order of business was dropping off the final load to Goodwill. After we got that done, it was time to put the camper on the truck... easier said than done.

I backed up to the camper (which took several tries to get the correct angle) and then I decided the plan would be to jack up the front of the camper, remove the barrel and slide the truck under the front then repeat for the barrel in the back. Seemed easy enough...

We started to lift the front when all of a sudden the camper started to lean to the right... oh crap. We hurridly dropped the camper back down on the barrel and started to take some of the weight out of the camper. We unloaded a few heavy boxes out of the bed area of the camper and decided to try again. So we got it jacked up again and it seemed to be holding OK so ex-hub removed the barrel. As I started to back under it I realized I was at the wrong angle and had to take about 10 minutes to get lined up correctly to get under the camper. The whole time I was sweating bullets because the camper was ever-so-slightly starting to lean to the right again. Finally we got the truck under the front and then we were able to get the back up and on to the truck as well.

By the time that little ordeal was over I was completely drenched in sweat. There were a few times I thought we were going to lose the camper... but it was done.

However, once I started putting the tie-downs on the camper one broke. So, we ran into town (about 2 miles away) to buy a new one. Out in the parking lot I got the camper all situated and we headed back to the house.

Once back at the house we started to load up the camper... and the truck just kept getting lower and lower. There was a lot of weight going onto the truck. At this point we realized we hadn't bought new magnetic lights for the trailer yet, so it was another trip into town. Once back, we started to put the trailer onto the truck and realized that the stinger was sitting down too low now for the trailer. So, we made yet another trip into town to buy a new stinger. We decided to grab some lunch at this point as well (it was about 2pm by this time and I was actually feeling well enough to eat). And then it was back to the house.

On the way back to the house I started to realize just how much weight was on the truck already. We got caught by a strong draft and the truck really started rocking... it scared the crap out of me. I slowed down and decided to only go 45 back to the house.

Once there it was time to hook up the trailer and the lights. By that time Wildflower, Lucky and her hub had come to load up what they were taking and to help us get the rest of the stuff loaded. Lucky's hub got the lights strung up onto the trailer and then we tested them out... no running lights, but blinkers and brake lights were working. Good enough for me.

By 7ish, everything was loaded and it was time to say goodbye.

I'll miss you guys!! Lucky, me and Wildflower...

Notice how dingy I look? Yeah, it doesn't get better for while...

At that point (after discussing pros and cons with Farmer) I decided we were going to hit the road that night and try to drive as far as possible before calling it a night...

So, our trek home began... and it was a doozy...

It got me...

I will continue the saga of the move from hell, I promise...

However, today I am sicker than a dog (whatever that means). Hopefully later I'll feel good enough to write parts II, III and IV.

Trust me, it's worth the wait...

The "infamous Idaho trip of '10" - Part I

Wednesday, September 22:

I woke up feeling like crap, but made my way into work. Wisely, while at work, I did not eat anything. Later that afternoon I went and loaded up Flash and hit the road, headed for Farmer's.... aka Pit Stop #2.

Pit Stop #1 was at Harbor Freight in Salem to buy magnetic lights for the trailer. Getting them hooked up and on the trailer took some time...

Pretty ghetto looking... But then again, my trailer is not super-spiffy anyway.

Just ignore the rust...

And after all was said and done, I had to run back in to the store and buy an extender.

Soooo close... but not quite enough wire.

Once I got everything plugged in I tested it out and... they didn't work right. DAMN!! 

And not only that, I pinched the crap out of my hand and bled all over...

So I took everything back off the trailer and stowed the magnetics in the truck to be worked on later. I then decided I was feeling well enough to eat, so I grabbed some food and hit the road again heading towards Pit Stop #2. 

On the way I had to stop twice to get rid of the food that was in my stomach. Flash kept asking if we were there yet. I had to explain to him that this was not our final destination.

Finally I made it to Farmer's and was never so glad to pull into a driveway... until Farmer came out, that is. Apparently my timing sucked. He looked like a whirlwind running around trying to gather up dogs... I just stood still trying not to get in the way of whatever it was I had just walked into. Eventually I got Flash unloaded and in a pen with hay and then finally I felt it was safe to say hi. By then most of the commotion had settled down. We went inside to chat and then it happened again... I was so nauseous that I was having a hard time keeping up my end of the conversation. Finally I gave up and went to bed. At about 3am I broke into a hard-core sweat and actually felt much better.

Thursday, September 23:

At 6am I got up and Farmer and I got to work. Farmer swapped out the belts and I tried to get the magnetic lights working again.

He succeeded and I failed... miserably. So I turned over the lighting project to him and true to form he totally McGuyvered it. He ended up bypassing the plug harness and wiring directly into the truck... even popping off the left light cover and connecting directly into that to get that blinker working. It was pretty awesome. I would have never thought of that... 

By then, ex-hub had arrived and it was time to hit the road. 

For the most part the drive through Oregon went smoothly. Then we crossed into Idaho and it all started to go wrong. About a half-hour out of Twin Falls I noticed that the lights weren't working again and there was something flapping around on the side of the trailer. When I pulled over I saw that the wires had gotten pinched and had come apart. I had dragged both ends down the highway. It was a mess. I tied up all the loose wires and we found a Cal-Ranch in Burley... which was a pain in the ass to get to because there was ridiculous construction everywhere. 

I managed to get the lights strung back together, but when I tested them out I had blinkers and brake lights but no running lights. CRAP!! Oh well, at that point I just decided to go for it. After all, it was an almost full moon and my trailer is white. If they ran into me it was probably going to happen with or without lights. 

At one point I hit a good bump and they came on. Then I hit another bump and they went off. It was hit or miss the rest of the night... 

Finally we arrived at our destination... Pocatello. 

I was not glad to see Pocatello again, but I was glad to see a bed. I was pooped...

Crazy, part deux...

OK... I promise I will blog about the move from hell, but I had to share this first. Plus, the blog on the move is going to be like a five-parter. It was that bad...

Anywho, remember when I was telling you about the crazy phone call I got a few Sundays ago? If not, I shall remind you...

On Sunday morning I got the strangest phone call I have ever received. I got a friend request about a month ago from a guy (whom we'll call Desperate) that I went to HS with. He was a year behind me and although I vaguely remember him, I had no specific memories about him one way or the other. A few weeks ago, Desperate sent me a message over facebook saying that he wanted to get to know me better and could he have my number. I said, whatever and sent it along. Yesterday morning at 8:30am he called me.

He basically stated that he thought I was a beautiful woman and that he wanted to get to know me better and get into a relationship. And yeah, he said it pretty much like that. That blunt. 

I informed him that he was Arizona and that I was in Oregon and that I had no intention of doing the long distance dating thing. At least, not at that distance. The same state is a minimum requirement... or I'll consider closer parts of Washington. Arizona does not meet that criteria. 

He then asked me if I would be willing to move to Arizona. Um, no. I don't know you. You sure as hell don't know me. And when I explained this to him, he seemed not only confused but seriously put off by the fact that I wasn't just greeting his offer with wide-open arms. 

I told him that we could be friends and cultivate that and see if it ever went anywhere (which it wouldn't) but he then informed me that he wasn't really interested in that. He wanted to find someone to be in a relationship with and give his heart to.

At this point, I was seriously disturbed by the whole conversation. It almost seemed like he had a list of names and numbers and was just going down the list until someone said yes. It was so weird. At that point I hung up... then I went on fb and defriended him. I don't need people like that in my life.

 

So today I got a message from another friend telling me to go look at his page (since I am no longer his fb friend). When I saw his wall there it was: his relationship status was now "engaged". Apparently she lives in Florida and "can't wait to move to AZ to be with my baby". We have now started a betting pool to see how long it will last. $5 gets you in. Winner take all... I'm personally betting on 3 months, tops.

 

The whole thing seriously creeps me out. I guess he found his yes.

My feeling? One more wacko out of the dating pool...

Ready or not, here I come...

I've been running around this morning looking like this:

Except I have less feathers... and I'm not bald. Yet.

And those look less like my legs and more like Farmer's, but whatever... you get the idea.

For the most part I have gotten my list of crap done. So let's review:

1. Get an oil change on the truck. It needs it... bad.

wasn't as expensive as I thought it might be... however the rear transfer case really needs new fluid but it's just going to have to wait until I get back and a few paydays have come and gone

2. Clean out the truck. This is a full day job on it's own. My truck is filthy and filled with horse stuff. 

the truck is still filthy, but I did at least wipe the worst of the dust off and try to get the dog hair under control. there is nothing I can do about the sweaty-horse-smell. it is what it is...

3. Stow the tailgate somewhere it won't be stolen... possibly here at work.

done. no one would ever suspect that there is anything worth stealing in the falling down shed

4. Clean out the bed of the truck. It's gross.

5. Pack. Me, the dogs (to go stay with Coal) and the truck.

I wish Coal and his kids the best of luck with the dogs. my hope is that they are all still alive and breathing when I get back... I would hate to have to replace his kids

6. Change out the belts on the truck... hopefully with Farmer's help.

well, the belts are bought. I'm hoping the changing of them comes when I get to Farmer's...

7. Remove everything out of the old dresser and trash it and prep for my dresser to arrive.

shockingly enough, CPSL wants to keep the POS dresser. I moved it outside so he has easy access to it

8. Clean my house. There is nothing worse than coming home to a dirty house when you've been gone for several days. This includes vacuuming and doing the dishes.

dishes didn't happen... oh well

9. Locate my camper tie-downs. Without a tailgate those will come in handy.

10. Gas up.

that took a small loan, but it's only one of many fill-ups to come... *gasp*

11. Get magnetic lights for the trailer since the trailer lights are hit or miss when it comes to them actually working.

I'll be picking these up on my way through salem. hopefully I don't get pulled over between here and there...

So, all in all, not too bad. I had to get up at the crack of obnoxious to make it happen... but I'm feeling like I can hit the road with relative confidence. 

Until I get pulled over that is... 

Holy crap...

I am so not ready for this move.

For one thing, my poor VW bug hatch still looks like this:

The orange and blue bungie cord is not her color...

I still can't get the darn latch to, well, latch. Stoopid thing. And, I have no money to try to get it fixed. Every dollar I have will be going to this move. That is stress factor number 1. Stress factor number 2 is all the crap I need to do before I leave. This list looks like this:

1. Get an oil change on the truck. It needs it... bad.

2. Clean out the truck. This is a full day job on it's own. My truck is filthy and filled with horse stuff.

3. Stow the tailgate somewhere it won't be stolen... possibly here at work

4. Clean out the bed of the truck. It's gross.

5. Pack. Me, the dogs (to go stay with Coal) and the truck.

6. Change out the belts on the truck... hopefully with Farmer's help.

7. Remove everything out of the old dresser and trash it and prep for my dresser to arrive.

8. Clean my house. There is nothing worse than coming home to a dirty house when you've been gone for several days. This includes vacuuming and doing the dishes.

9. Locate my camper tie-downs. Without a tailgate those will come in handy.

10. Gas up.

11. Get magnetic lights for the trailer since the trailer lights are hit or miss when it comes to them actually working.

Most of this list has to happen tonight. Yipe!!

Tomorrow I'm going to try to be out of the office by 12ish. I'm hoping to have Flash loaded and on the road by 1ish. I have to make a pit stop in Salem for the lights. I'm hoping that I don't get pulled over before I get there. From there I'm hoping to be back on the road by 2:30ish and to Farmer's place by no later than 6pm so there is time to deal with the belts... assuming Farmer even has time for those. 

Yeah, I'm stressing out a bit. Wish me luck.

I'm taking my laptop with me so I'll try to keep you updated...

A weekend of contradictions...

How can you have a weekend that has both this:

Fabulous drag queens...

And this:

Trying to beat the trailer wiring into working... In the pouring rain...

 

I am as confused by this as you are.

It was just a crazy weekend all the way around... not helped by my hormones one bit.

On Friday night, I went with Howie to the clam bake (see previous post). On Saturday I headed to the state capital to pay my feed bill, look at some hay and meet a friend for a late breakfast/early lunch. I took the pups with me so Jonsie and I could take our dogs to the dog park for a romp after we ate. 

Everything was going well until we got to the dog park. When I popped the hatch of my VW bug to let the pups out it wouldn't relatch again. So Jonsie and I started looking at it and just then the sky opened up and starting pouring down on us. Not cool, universe... not cool at all.

So we stood there for a long time trying to get the latch to function again. The dogs got bored and wandered off to the park without us. And even after a thorough soaking, it still wasn't working. In fact my poor bug is looking very ghetto right now with the hatch bungied down. Sadness...

On Saturday night, Howie and I met up to do his make-up and then we headed out for the drag show. There were some amazing acts, and for a bunch of men they sure cleaned up well and had some very interesting outfits... how they tuck their junk to fit into some of those outfits is completely beyond me...

Check out how short some of those "skirts" are... holy crap!!

 These dresses aren't short, but the beards with the get-ups are a little disturbing...

Howie after his performance. He totally raked in the dough...

 

And adoring fans wanted his autograph... No one, however, wanted mine.

On Sunday morning I got the strangest phone call I have ever received. I got a friend request about a month ago from a guy (whom we'll call Desperate) that I went to HS with. He was a year behind me and although I vaguely remember him, I had no specific memories about him one way or the other. A few weeks ago, Desperate sent me a message over facebook saying that he wanted to get to know me better and could he have my number. I said, whatever and sent it along. Yesterday morning at 8:30am he called me.

He basically stated that he thought I was a beautiful woman and that he wanted to get to know me better and get into a relationship. And yeah, he said it pretty much like that. That blunt. 

I informed him that he was Arizona and that I was in Oregon and that I had no intention of doing the long distance dating thing. At least, not at that distance. The same state is a minimum requirement... or I'll consider closer parts of Washington. Arizona does not meet that criteria. 

He then asked me if I would be willing to move to Arizona. Um, no. I don't know you. You sure as hell don't know me. And when I explained this to him, he seemed not only confused but seriously put off by the fact that I wasn't just greeting his offer with wide-open arms. 

I told him that we could be friends and cultivate that and see if it ever went anywhere (which it wouldn't) but he then informed me that he wasn't really interested in that. He wanted to find someone to be in a relationship with and give his heart to.

At this point, I was seriously disturbed by the whole conversation. It almost seemed like he had a list of names and numbers and was just going down the list until someone said yes. It was so weird. At that point I hung up... then I went on fb and defriended him. I don't need people like that in my life.

After that crazy start to the morning, I went out and fiddled with the trunk latch some more. With the exact same result... it's still bungied and looking pretty white-trash. Where is McGuyver when I need him?

Then after that, it was time to work on the trailer. That was an exercise in frustration. Coal and I did figure out a few things in the 5 or 6 hours we worked on it. 1. The truck wiring is a little hinky. 2. The plug is wired, but not really correctly. But it's putting out power. 3. The trailer's wiring is a complete loss. Stuff was working, then wouldn't work, then would work again but differently than it did the first time. Basically there are shorts and no way to fix them since all the wiring is interior. And its a project for another time. 

For now, the solution is to just buy some of those magnetic tow lights and call it good. 

Now, if I can just get everything else ready to go. I'm feeling just a smidge overwhelmed at this point...

There's something wrong with my profile...

If the dates I'm attracting look like this...

Even the pouring rain didn't dampen that bouffant... 

My hair, on the other hand, didn't fair so well. Thank goodness for the boa...

The band was fabulous...

Meet my drag queen date from last night, Howie... oh, and I did his make-up for him too. 

It's the 3rd Annual Iris Pride Festival here at the coast. Last night was the clam bake. Tonight is the drag show (again I'm Howie's date... ) and I know there is something going on Sunday that I'm supposed to join Howie for but not sure what it is off the top of my head.

I do know that on Sunday I'm meeting up with Coal at some point to see about trying to get my trailer lights functional once again. Jam-packed weekend considering what a long day it was yesterday...

Say goodbye...

So... I'm trading this:

The pain in the butt, won't gain weight...

For this:

Is in desperate need of a diet, hooray my feed bill will be going down significantly...

Say goodbye to Flash. On Wednesday he'll be back at Farmer's place and will be able to resume his torrid love affair with Danté, Farmer's former stud horse. 

Flash is gay. Danté will take whatever comes into his pasture that is willing... although I'm not sure if that will still be the case since he was gelded earlier in the year. I hope for Flash's sake that Danté is still in love as well... otherwise Flash will be heartbroken. But, even heartbroken, he'll be able to eat 24/7. And if he doesn't gain weight there, it's time to start spending the big bucks to find out what is wrong with him...

So next Wednesday "The Move" begins. That's right. It's time to go round up everything that has been MII (missing in Idaho).

Yipe!! I'm not ready... the truck and trailer aren't ready... I'm pretty sure ex-hub isn't ready.

At this point I've pretty much decided that if it can't stay somewhere for free, then it's not coming back with me. I'm not paying for storage. Plus, I've lived without all of this stuff for 2 years and I'm not really missing it. It's time to cull the herd, as it were. 

The camper, washer and dryer will be staying with Farmer. The camper will be loaded top to bottom with boxes and all the extraneous crap. Anything that can't fit into there, goes. Period. The couch and love seat are headed to Mower's because he has no furniture and they can stay there for free. All the other furniture is either going to the dump or to Goodwill. Period. I will be ruthless in my decisions... and when I start to weaken I will repeat this mantra: it's just crap... it's just crap...

And when Elmo and I get back to the coast we will begin our diets. We are both way too fluffy... 

I can't wait to see how he handles the ocean. Should be an interesting first ride...

Is the past really in the past?

If you've been reading this blog long then you know that I am back on the dating horse, and attempting the internet dating thing again (along with the conventional "hey, I have the perfect guy for you" spiel that I get every once in a while from random friends).

So far I haven't had a whole lot of success. There have been what I thought were good "first" dates, but then I don't hear from them again. What is up with that? Do I smell? Am I just obnoxious? What?

I, for the life of me, can't figure it out. So, moving on...

I have been chatting with a guy who found me through the internet dating site that I am currently frequenting. It was going pretty well. We had things in common, conversation came easily and he had a great sense of humor... all bonuses.

Then I did what I normally do when I think things might go somewhere, I googled (and binged) him. Boy, was I in for a shock. There are definitely skeletons in his closet. Too many for me to actually consider him as a serious dating candidate.

Typically, I am all for leaving the past in the past. I'm interested in who you are today, not what you were yesterday... but there are some things I just can't overlook. Like a serious criminal record, for instance. That, to me, never goes away. If you are convicted of a felony, you are forever a felon... no matter what you've done to turn your life around now. It never goes away. And to me, it's not part of the past... it's a part of who you are forever.

Perhaps this is kind of a hard line, but I don't think so. It's something that will end up affecting me and the people in my life...

And there is no way I'm risking my future, my family or my friends well-being on the chance of a maybe. It's just not going to happen...

My faith in humanity is restored...

Before I relate my little tale of woe, let me assure you that from now on I will be checking my bank account before I go to the gas station...

So, my little tale goes something like this:

As you may or may not know, I have been spending a lot of money on Flash (both in vet bills and feed) trying to get him back up to a weight that I am comfortable with. Because of this fact there was very little money left over after I paid rent and his feed bill. I went grocery shopping over the weekend for a few odds and ends to get me through until payday and the end result is that my bank account was down to ¢.54.

Not a lot. But still something.

I was kindly loaned $40 to give me a bit more of a cushion until payday. Typically I would have just waited until Friday, but I was low on gas and ¢.54 is not a lot. The $40 went into the bank.

Later that night I got in my car to go feed Flash. As I was pulling out of my driveway my car beeped to let me know that I was close to empty. So on my way up to the pasture I decided to stop at the gas station and fill my tank. I handed the gas attendant my card. She stuck it in the pump thingy and then handed it back to me (along with 2 biscuits for the pups). I waited for my tank to fill. She put the pump back and closed my gas hatch and just as I was pulling out she flagged me down.

Unsure of what was going on, I stopped and rolled down my window. She then tells me my card was declined. What?!? You mean you filled the tank anyway knowing the card was declined? Yup, she did. Her excuse? She thought it was an error with the pump, not my card.

I immediately pull up my online banking and see that the funds are there... but they are pending. I totally freak out. And, of course the station is completely packed so many people are witnessing this little tale of horrors unfold.

The attendant then calls over the more senior attendant who then informs me that I have to pay before I leave. I explain to him that I have no way to do that. I don't have credit cards... haven't had one in over 10 years (although I might have to rethink that after this whole mess). The boss guy tells me if I leave he'll call the police. I say fine, call the police. Take the gas back. Whatever!! but I can't pay for it. He just walks off and says it's not his problem.

So, I get back in my car and have a melt-down (tears included). While I'm balling my eyes out I'm trying to frantically think of what to do... and who to call. And honestly, I didn't want to call anyone because it was so humiliating... but I realized I couldn't sit there until the next day.

So I called Ally, who upon hearing my state of distress thinks that Flash has died... which kinda put things in perspective a bit. She agreed to come bail me out and I hung up the phone. When I look up there is a woman standing at my window. I roll my window down and she says she heard about my plight and wondered if she could pay my gas bill for me.

I was totally blown away. This woman (may the angels smile down upon her) didn't know me from Adam and here she was offering to help me out. It was awesome... and very humbling. Sure, humanity can be sick and cruel... but it can also be kind and compassionate. Again, it was awesome.

I thanked her profusely for even offering and then explained that a friend was on the way. She gave me a little pat on the shoulder, wished me a better day and went on her way. At about that time, Ally pulled up and paid the (jackass) attendant. I gave her a big hug and thanked her from the bottom of my heart for bailing me out of an embarrassing situation. She, in turn, invited me over for dinner and lots of baby cuddling (she just had a baby 3 months ago)...

The little angel and I a few days ago... isn't she the cutest?

(ignore my hair... it was a very long day)

Gotta admit, when I get to cuddling that little bug that I start thinking that having one wouldn't be such a bad thing... but that's a whole 'nuther blog. Plus when she starts crying I just hand her back to mom. If I were mom, who would I hand her off to?

Anywho... after hanging out with them for the evening I finally headed up to feed Flash. He was not impressed with my tardiness but once I explained to him what was going on, he conceded that it was not the best of nights for me... or at least I think he did. He might have just been happy to get his mash. Tough to tell.

And like I said at the beginning of this post, I shall be using that mobile banking feature much more frequently from now on. 

Now if I could just shake this feeling of being such a loser...

My alternate reality...

This weekend Bff came to visit. On Sunday, we spent most of the day out on the beach... it was awesome. Bff even went and waded waist deep into the water...

She's nuts. I'm not going in there past my ankles...

However, the ocean tried to get me while I was taking a nap...

So close... you can see where I was laying down and how close the water came.

After that close call I decided to move far enough away so as not to tempt the ocean. Seemed like a smart play on my part. Plus, made for an awesome background to these gems...

Bff and I trying to look our thinnest...

Oh, screw it... We're having a good time.

And when Bff departed for home, it still looked like this outside...

All hail the sun and blue sky...

At that point I was kinda tired, so I decided to go inside and watch some football and possibly catch a nap. As I was napping, the unthinkable happened...

I was transported to an alternate universe.

When I stepped back outside a little over an hour later I encountered this:

What the hell? Where did the sun go?

Not only that, but I was the only one that had been transported. When I went in for a nap, there were people walking around and both sides of the street outside my house were lined with cars. When I came back out after my transportation, the only cars that had made the journey were mine...

I decided to just go back to bed and hope that I would be teleported back to my own universe. This one seemed very lonely.

And when I got up the next day all was right with the world again... 

Welcome back sun. Stay for as long as you'd like...

However, after the day I had at work yesterday, maybe I should have stayed in the alternate universe. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been quite so annoying...

The genius behind the blog...

I know you're dying to know how the genius of this blog happens...

Here is a brief background glimpse of how the magic comes to life on this blog...

Me sizing up the wonderful photo opportunities that a random toilet presents on our ride.

And then photographing them...

It seems like a toilet would be a relatively simple thing to photograph... however multiple shots are needed to get the correct angle and comedic value.

Looking for that perfect shot. Flash, making use of the down time...

Finally, the ultimate shot is achieved and I can move on to the next photo.

Again, Flash putting the grass to good use...

After all that diligence and hard work you get this: The money shot...

Then, of course, I add my extremely brilliant and witty commentary and there you have it: genius.

Now that you have a behind-the-scenes look at how this comes together I'm sure you'll be coming back for more... 

And I'll be sure to have more genius waiting for you. You can count on it...

Zen... and stupid men...

As you know, I was supposed to be in Eastern Oregon helping out Farmer this weekend. However, on Friday morning he aborted the mission because in was in hand-to-hand combat with a stomach bug. At that time, the stomach bug was up 5 rounds... but Farmer was starting to make a come-back. Either way, I wanted nothing to do with that. I have enough trouble staying well without exposing myself unnecessarily. So, that plan was out.

Instead, Cricket and I decided to go for a ride... it was a beautiful day. We decided to ride up into the coast range again. But this time when we got to the top of the street where we normally have to ask for permission to ride through this particular property to access the roads, we found the house abandoned...

Gorgeous view from the back yard of the house at the top of the world...

No time to look mom... busy eating here...

As we were riding around the house checking it out, we came across this...

Random plumbing apparati...

Hey, look what I found...

Daisy was kind enough to locate the lid for any of you that are in need of such an item. It looked pretty much brand new... And it's not like the house was trashed inside. It was pretty much left in pristine condition except for this one random item.

But since neither Flash nor Bella were willing to haul a toilet around with us, we decided to abandon our find and continue on the ride... so out onto the logging roads we headed.

What's that noise?

 

Seriously... I hear a monster in the bushes...

Listen... over there. Shhhhhhhhh....

He's crazy. There's nothing over there...

Whatever, dog. I know I heard something...

Daisy and Noelle, however, were non-believers of the existence of the "evil, horse-eating, bush monster". I'm pretty sure it was just the wind. And even though Flash was on high-alert for the rest of the ride, it was a very good ride. Very zen-like... 

That night (Friday night) the wind was not blowing at all, so after feeding ol' Hollow-leg (Flash) we decided to head out onto the beach and check it out. 

I wish I had been able to get pictures because it was amazing out there... but it was too dark. The stars were shining very brightly and we are experiencing severe negative tides right now so you had to walk out about 400 yards to even get to where the water was gently rolling in. Normally you only have to go about 50 feet. Not only that but the waves were breaking another 100 yards out from that and so the water would roll in so gently... it was the coolest thing I've ever seen. 

Rocks that are normally covered were exposed and available for exploration. The pups and I spent about an hour on the beach just checking it all out.

Yesterday it was another amazing day, so after feeding Flash (seems like that is a never-ending task) the pups and I decided to hit the beach...

Warm sand and blue sky. Awesome...

The pups and I decided to lay in the sand and soak up some vitamin D...

Oh yeah. This is the life...

Yeah, it's not bad. Look... I'm an angel. I have a halo...

Oh yeah... the sun feels so good...

Mom? Where's my ball?

I had to explain to Noelle several times that we were there to lay in the sun, not play fetch. She wasn't nearly as impressed with our outing once she figured out that the ball was not going to magically appear...

But it was still awesome.

Later that day, Bff came to town and we went to a benefit concert called Idiosyncratic. It was a benefit for someone (who's name I didn't get) who is in need of a liver transplant. So, basically for $7 bucks and a side-dish you got all the food and beer/wine/pop you could drink.

They also had some booths and live music... oh, and a pony ride. However, the pony did not look happy to be there... but everyone else was having a good time.

So Bff and I hung up on the grassy knoll and tried to find anything datable. We failed. Let's just say teeth are not a high priority in the crowd or in this town  *sigh*

That doesn't bode well, because I haven't been having much luck in the date department. I had another date Thursday night with the Fireman. We had been texting and talking on the phone for a few months and then finally managed to do a date. Let's just say that he was much better looking in his pictures. He wasn't completely tragic, but he didn't set my socks on fire either. And I guess he wasn't feeling it either, because after talking daily for a few months I haven't heard from him since... *sigh*

Not like I'm super disappointed, but I was willing to see if anything would develop. However, I think for men if it doesn't do it for them right out of the gate they really aren't interested in cultivating a friendship either. Oh well... 

Moving on... 

So last night, I took Bff to see the negative tide. She was pretty wowed by it as well, but then after we were back at the house let me know that it was a bit unnerving to be standing on a part of the ocean floor that is normally covered with many feet of water. Yeah, that didn't bother me at well. 

All in all, it's been an awesome weekend thus far... looking forward to another beautiful day.

ZzzzzzZzzzzzzZzzzzZzzzzzzzz

Some of us, however, are still sleeping in...