Thursday, September 16, 2010

Is the past really in the past?

If you've been reading this blog long then you know that I am back on the dating horse, and attempting the internet dating thing again (along with the conventional "hey, I have the perfect guy for you" spiel that I get every once in a while from random friends).

So far I haven't had a whole lot of success. There have been what I thought were good "first" dates, but then I don't hear from them again. What is up with that? Do I smell? Am I just obnoxious? What?

I, for the life of me, can't figure it out. So, moving on...

I have been chatting with a guy who found me through the internet dating site that I am currently frequenting. It was going pretty well. We had things in common, conversation came easily and he had a great sense of humor... all bonuses.

Then I did what I normally do when I think things might go somewhere, I googled (and binged) him. Boy, was I in for a shock. There are definitely skeletons in his closet. Too many for me to actually consider him as a serious dating candidate.

Typically, I am all for leaving the past in the past. I'm interested in who you are today, not what you were yesterday... but there are some things I just can't overlook. Like a serious criminal record, for instance. That, to me, never goes away. If you are convicted of a felony, you are forever a felon... no matter what you've done to turn your life around now. It never goes away. And to me, it's not part of the past... it's a part of who you are forever.

Perhaps this is kind of a hard line, but I don't think so. It's something that will end up affecting me and the people in my life...

And there is no way I'm risking my future, my family or my friends well-being on the chance of a maybe. It's just not going to happen...


  1. This is a great blog. I am also 36 and single and trying internet dating. I find the first date quite tricky because if I like the man and he doesn't follow it's kind of disappointing! How to get that balance between caring enough to have a good date but not caring so much that if there's nothing further it's OK?! Especially if you've been texting/calling beforehand and building a bit of a friendship. So tricksy...

  2. It is a tricky situation... I definitely haven't quite mastered the balance yet.