Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Hello, my name is...

If you are single (and I hope for your sake you are not) then you are probably familiar with internet dating. It seems to be the only real way to make a connection that doesn't involve a seedy bar and way too much cleavage.

However, even there you have to be careful. I was chatting with Shadow on Sunday about the pitfalls of internet dating. He and Farmer have been giving me the low-down from the male perspective... while I have been lamenting about the utter asshattery that I am forced to deal with.

I have been running into 4 specific problems:

1. Men who are looking for the supermodel. Funny thing is, most of these guys are not supermodel material themselves... in fact, the ones that are most critical of looks are the ones that I feel should be taking anything out that agrees to dinner... or even just to meet.

2. Men who are just looking for the hook-up. *sigh* This bugs me. Really bugs me. In my opinion, if you are just looking for sex then please just go to the bar and pick up whatever is there and leave the rest of us be. My standards are very high and you are not going to make the cut.

3. Men who say they don't smoke but either do or use other tobacco products. If you use anything tobacco related I am not interested. Period. And that chew in your upper lip almost made me lose my din-din.

4. Men who are sure (even though you've never met in person) that you are the one. And to be honest, this one doesn't just bother me, it scares the crap out of me. I call them Stage 3 clingers. I had one just the other day. He masqueraded as a normal person for about a week. Then he called and asked if I wanted to have dinner one night the following week. I said sure. He was driving in from a town about an hour away and so we decided to do an early dinner time so there would be time for him to drive back home. Later in the conversation he mentions that if we hit it off then he'll be staying at my place. Excuse me? I mean, he didn't even ask, he just assumed. I told him that wasn't happening. Period. And after another weird conversation I decided to just call it off... I was not getting a very good vibe.

Farmer's issues have been different. He either gets no response or a couple of words with no follow-up questions to continue the conversation. I have tried to help him rewrite his profile... but he only let me add a couple of lines.

If it were up to me I would have totally been playing up the fact that he's basically the farming version of McGuyver. Something like: I can fix a baler with only a toothpick and twine. 

Oh, and he definitely needs a better pic, but I've been blocked on that effort as well. However, if he insists in using this as his main profile picture...
Then it should at least have this caption:
Sure, you may laugh at the size of my hat but after riding in the hot sun all day my horse and I were nice and cool while the rest of those suckers were dying in the heat.

Just sayin'...

But at least Farmer and Shadow are in the game. Wulfe hasn't even gone there yet. And he should... he's got a lot to offer. I've been trying to get him to give it a go, but no luck thus far. But maybe I'll be able to convince him? Who knows...

On another completely unrelated note I just got a call from the owner of the house I want to rent. I'm meeting with him tonight to discuss it so I'm hoping that it will be a go and that I can give my notice to CPSL soon. Wish me luck!!

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