The best way to describe what's going on is this... It's like you're swimming along and everything seems to be fine. Then all of a sudden a huge wave comes and you don't even know where the surface is... you fight your way back to the top and it seems you've got it under control when all of a sudden another wave swamps you. Only this time it's much harder to make your way back to the surface. And when you do the waves start coming faster and faster...
The last time I felt like this, I dropped all of my classes except one, quit my job and slept for around 20 hours a day... for almost 4 months.
I am terrified of dropping into that type of a depression again. But I have no idea how to combat it either. I will be fine, happy even, and then all of a sudden I am overwhelmed and crying. And I have no idea how to articulate to anyone what it feels like... and when I try they just don't understand. Basically I keep hearing "get over it"...
I wish I knew how to "get over it"...
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1 day ago
Oh dear. Been there done that. Have you tried meds yet? Personally I hated them and was off them as soon as I could, but I hated them less than feeling like I was at the bottom of a big black hole with no way out.
ReplyDeleteAnother alternative is to try some medicinal strenght St John's Wart tea or capsules. It is natures own antidepressant. Just beware as it can make some people photosensitive.
Sending you good thoughts.
Ohhh. Do get some help! I've never felt like that, but I know lots of people who have. They swear by medication. I don't think it is something you get "just over" without help.
ReplyDeleteReading your great blog for the first time. Entertaining and intriging. Just wanted to say, I understand this better than most would believe who know me now. I experienced a significant breakthrough 6 years ago. Never been the same. I don't have any magic trick or formula, just reality. It was great seeing you at the 20 year reunion...
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