Unexpected, to be sure...

Yesterday we had a very unexpected day of sunshine, warm temps and no wind. Ally and I decided to seize the opportunity and soak up some rays... in the parking lot. Hey, got take the vitamin D where you can get it...

My coloring, however, was compared to the underbelly of a halibut...

In my defense: 1. I am wearing a white t-shirt underneath my black button-down (I swear... it's there). That is not my tummy hanging out, I promise.

2. The picture is very washed out. It is... really. In real life I am not that white... more of like a pale blue.

Either way, it was a nice day. Glad I was able to get out and enjoy it...

What a treat...

So, when I went to feed Elmo last night there was finally a break in the weather. I decided to run down to the beach with the pups and let them run before it started pouring down rain again.

We got there and saw the most amazing sunset, complete with no wind... and I mean none!! Not even a gentle breeze. It was so cool.

So, here is what I saw last night. Enjoy...

Some days I really love where I live :)

Free-for-all...

I have a couple of different things that popped into my head this morning on my drive up to feed Elmo, so I'm making it a grab-bag kinda day.

First up: Krazy light karma. I'm hoping this happens to other people, too, because it happens to me all the time. I'll be driving (or walking) and when I go under a street light it turns off (or on). This happens, like, 5 to 10 times a day. Does this happen to other people as well? Or do I have some weird energy that makes this happen? It kinda freaks me out...

Second: Those who sleep with people to make themselves feel better. Farmer has a friend (I know, hard to believe, but he does... besides me) named Baker. She will hit him up on chat after she's just slept with a random guy wondering why it is she does that. Two words sweetheart: Low self-esteem. Well, maybe that's three... guess it depends on if you count a hyphenated as one word or two. Anywho, I am at a loss how sleeping with someone randomly makes anyone feel better? I'm guessing it doesn't but they think they have no other way to get positive feedback. I'm hoping, for her sake, that she starts to find her self-esteem soon. Seriously, her criteria for having sex was: shows interest and has a pulse. Not good.

Third: The stigma of "survivor". I have encountered a few people that when they learn I like this show, and watch it weekly, seriously never speak to me again. Listen up, people. It's one hour a week. I'm not going to make you watch it with me... in fact I prefer you don't unless you're into it as well. Is it really that big a deal? Get over it, already, because I'm not giving it up for you... or anyone!!

Last: The tub invasion. It seems it is that time of year again when all the creepy-crawlys think they can inhabit my bathtub. You can't. Go away. I'm tired of washing you down the drain... and screeching like a little girl when you pop out from behind the shower curtain. Not cool. At. All.

What is old-fashioned, anyway?

In my online profile it says: Personally I'm looking to take my time and really get to know someone. I think old-fashioned ideals are very sexy and that most men (and women, too, I suppose) are looking to jump into bed way too quickly for my taste.

So I got a message last night asking me how I defined old-fashioned ideals.

That, sir, is a very good question...

My take on it is this: so many people confuse intimacy with sex. You can have intimacy with sex, but they are not one and the same... A lot of people (men and women, I'm not discriminating) have sex with no intimacy. It's just a physical act. There is no deeper connection, no real meaning behind the act itself.

I want to slow it down and have an actual connection to someone... hold hands, enjoy really getting to know someone, kissing (one of my favorite things), secret looks when in a large group, love notes... all the small stuff that makes it special. Not just the same ol', same ol'.

It seems like so many are in a rush to get into the bedroom... like there is a finish line and that is it. What a lot of men don't understand is that isn't the finish line, that's just the next step in something really fantastic... if you've taken the time to really connect to that person.

I think this foundation is what makes a relationship successful. And in a society that is so fast and so accustomed to instant gratification, I think this idea of nurturing a real connection gets lost. We are in such a hurry, we forget that taking the time is worth the effort put in.

So, I think face-to-face time is the most important thing... how else are you really going to get to know that person? Email, text and phone are all very well, but how are you going to know if there is a spark unless you actually spend some time together in real life?

So, that's what I'm going to try to do as I move forward with this crazy internet dating scene. It's time to get face-to-face and see what's really out there...

Oregon vs. California...

I have a friend. He's from California (which I try not to hold against him). He lives in Eugene (hippy central). And he's opinionated... shocking, I know.

His latest opinion is to comment on the difference between women in California and women in Oregon (Eugene, specifically).

California: Won't step foot outside without hair done, make-up on and dressed to the nines.

Oregon: Going outside in slippers, PJ's, hair not combed and no make-up is totally status-quo.

Personally, I'm somewhere in the middle. Every morning I get up, put on my sweats, walk the dogs, feed the horses and then get ready for work... which consists of putting on jeans, a hoody and flip-flops. No make-up. I do usually curl my hair unless it's going to rain all day, then I don't bother.

I have been know to go to the store in my sweats and muddy/crap encrusted barn boots. But, hell, the store is on the way, so why not? Do I really need to go home and get all gussied up just to pick up some groceries? I think not.

And although I've been told that I do clean up well (and will do so if it is warranted), I'm just fine hanging out in my "coastal" uniform. My closet is full of jeans and hoodys... just the way I like it.

My opinion? If the California style of woman is what you're looking for, then go back to California. I promise, we won't miss you...

I see progress. Which is way better than dead people...

So, a year ago today I was packing up the bug and moving to the coast...

Holy crap, that year went by fast.

So I decided to go back and read what I had written about this momentous event. And it was like I was there all over again... It's amazing how going back and reading those posts just brings all those feelings and emotions to the forefront again.

And this is why I think this blog is so cathartic. It allows me to put those feelings somewhere... and they are forever encapsulated able to be visited again and again... if I so desire.

And I realize, by reading that, how far I have come in a year.

I am in a very good place in my life spiritually, physically (with a little added fluff) and emotionally. The coast has been very good to me, and for me.

And for now, I plan on staying...

Even if the weather is wacky right now...

Yeah. That river is our parking lot and Highway 101. It's getting a little crazy here...

Is quality really that hard to find?

Dating sucks. Those of you who are single are probably already aware of this. For those of you that are married or in a good relationship, count yourself lucky. For those of you that have just given up, can't really blame you...

As of Thursday, this weekend was shaping up to be a decent one. I had been chatting with a guy not too far from me that (I thought) showed promise. We have things in common, he seemed interesting and intelligent, and he seemed excited to meet up. All good things...

We had plans to meet at 5pm on Friday night... at around 4pm he asked if it could be later since he wasn't off work yet. I said sure. At around 5pm he then informed me that he couldn't make it (no reason given at that point) and could we reschedule for the following day. I said sure, but that he'd have to meet me where I was at. No problem. We set it up for around 2pm on Saturday.

Later that night he texted me again to let me know what had happened. He had been working on a furnace and it had back-blown lime onto his face and head. He let me know he had been to the ER but that he was fine and was looking forward to Saturday.

Saturday morning, I texted him to see how he was doing. He said he was in pain and didn't get much sleep. I asked if he wanted to postpone until he was feeling better, but got no response. At around 1:30pm I texted him again to see if we were still on for 2pm. I got no response.

2pm came and went. I went about my day and did other things. At around 9pm last night I hear from him that he went back to the ER and got some Percocet for the pain. That stuff is nasty and I understand why I didn't hear from him... however, no apology (could've been because of the drugs) and then he dropped off mid-conversation again.

In the meantime, Jonesie had called me to get together. I figured since I hadn't heard from the other one, what the hell (this is still Saturday). Then Jonesie informs me that he wants me to drive the hour to his house and to help him work on his place.

Um, excuse me? This would be, like, our 4th date... When I suggested that he work on his house and then we get together after that, he got a little pissy. Which, in turn, just pissed me off. It's the 4th date. It's not like we have spent a lot of time together. This is still the "honeymoon" phase, supposedly. And if you act like that now, what will you be like later when you're not on your best behavior? Sheesh...

Bff thought he was a douchenozzle. I'm going to have to agree.

Then this morning, I heard from the other one again saying he was sorry that he dropped off mid-conversation last night. I asked if he was still interested in getting together and he said definitely and then I didn't hear anything after that. Um, ok. So you do want to meet but you don't make any type of plan? I don't get it... 

What happened to dating? Did I miss something while I was married? I mean, perhaps there was a memo that went out explaining how this type of behavior is considered appropriate? If so, I missed it.

I am meeting up with someone tonight that I find interesting, but even there I have serious reservations, if for different reasons. It seems I just can't find what it is I want... a decent guy without a poo-load of baggage and decent manners. Is that too much to ask?

They say it's coming...

Not this...

This...

The storm is coming... or so I'm told. I've heard this before where it was much ado about nothing. So we shall see.

But right now the sun is shining and it's Friday. Tough combo to beat...

Wait!! Sleep, come back...

That's right...

Sleep has deserted me once again. So rude!!

And all because of Flash... yet again.

Who me? I'm innocent...

Farmer and I had a long discussion about my problem child last night. He was just trying to understand what the problem was so he could work the problem. Yeah, been there... 

The problem is that I have no real idea what the problem is, per se. The vet took three blood draws, all with the same results... everything was normal. Then why is my stoopid equine dropping weight still? Yeah, got no idea... test results are fine.

The vet finally decided that he was insulin resistant because what else could it be? However, Flash does not fit the profile of an insulin resistant equine. He's not overweight, he doesn't have fat pockets and he definitely doesn't have a voracious appetite. 

Farmer is confused. Yeah, me too buddy... me too.

But, of course, I thought that insulin resistance might be a small contributing factor, but I more so thought that the problem was his pasture mate, Bella. She's a pig. Flash is not. I was thinking that once Flash got out on pasture and was able to eat at his leisure 24/7 that the problem would fix itself. 

However, that does not seem to be the case...

Farmer has now pulled him out and put him in a separate pen and is giving him free-choice hay (a mixture of alfalfa and grass) with a mineral tub, in case there are some minerals he's not getting. Now all we can do is sit and wait. Not my strong suit... as you know.

Maybe this is the universe's way of teaching me patience? If so, it's a sucky way to do it. Teach me some other way and just leave my poor horse out of it...

Reasonably sane? I think not...

Got this email from an "admirer" on my internet dating site last night:


Hi there,
You look like a reasonably sane person. We should talk.
XXXX


The only question now is: Do I burst Mr. X's bubble? Or give him false hope that I am, indeed, reasonably sane?

Decisions, decisions...

I hate to do it...

But what must be done, can be done. Right? Or something like that...

So, I had another run-in with the IRS. The bad news: I owed some more (and they took it). The good news: they have now audited all the years they can, so that is it. Finally. Sheesh!! Why they insist on coming after us little folk is beyond me. Like the few hundred you just stole from me is going to make a damn bit of difference to anyone but me...

Anywho, I am operating without a safety net. And with the little I make, there really isn't any hope of getting a net any time soon. So, last night I finally made the decision to sell my beloved computer.

 I will miss you dearly...

Never fear, I will still have my laptop... but my big computer (a 24" iMac with all the bells and whistles) that I bought two years ago when I was freelancing out of my home will need to find a new home. I haven't had any real freelance biz in quite a while (over a year) so I've decided that it's time to try to sell it... *sniff*

It's pretty much the only thing I own (besides the truck, trailer and saddles) that is actually worth anything. And since I'm keeping the horses, I guess the other stuff stays for now.

So, if you're in the market I've got a great deal for you... 

"No" really does mean... NO!!

This happened a little while ago, but still a funny story so I thought I would share it with you...

As you know, I'm on an internet dating site. Originally all I had on the "about me" section was that I had critters, lived at the beach and liked doing stuff outside (well, it was a little more in-depth than that, but you get the general idea). After the following to idiots contacted me, I had to get way more detailed about things...

Idiot #1 - His message to me:
So I see that you're a Libra which means you'll be having a birthday soon. How about I send you a vibrator for your birthday?

I'd like to say that I am making that up. Sadly, I am not...

Obviously I didn't respond. And then I had to block that particular user because he wouldn't leave me alone. Sheesh... some men just can't take a hint. You'd think a no response would get the point across...


Idiot #2 - His message to me:
Hey, I see you live at the coast. Do you have a spare bedroom (or maybe your bedroom, haha) that I can crash in? I'll be there from XX to XX.

Um, wow. You seriously are too cheap (or too poor) to get your own damn hotel/motel room? I'm pretty sure if that's the case then you're not someone I really want to know anyway.

And he wasn't alone. I've gotten several messages that essentially say the same thing. And this isn't like someone I've been chatting with for a while. This is on first contact. Are you serious? 

I suppose one of the hazards of living in a destination area...

You don't really need to know everything... do you?

I had a very fascinating conversation with Wheel yesterday and needed to get it down on blog before I forgot all the details.
It covered many different topics, but the two I found most fascinating were:
1. How getting in a new environment can let us discover who we really are, and what we are capable of.
2. How we don't need to know all the details of a person's past.

I have first-hand knowledge of #1. It seems every time I get to a new place that I try to reinvent myself... not in a bad way. No aliases or anything like that. I take the stuff I like and try to build on it. I take the stuff I don't like and try to banish it. For some reason being in a new environment makes this easier.

The second is a newer concept for me. In the past, I was the type of person that had to know everything there was to know about the person I was with. But, I've decided that it really is better if I don't.

I don't need to know how the person came to be this person that I now see before me. They are what they are and those past experiences shaped them to be the person I see now. Do I really need to know how they got there? Not really. Some things are better just left in the past... unless those experiences affect the present and future (i.e. a serious criminal record. You need to be upfront about something like that...)

However, there is a difference between leaving things in the past (or not sharing certain stories) and being deceitful. Lying sucks. Being lied to is even worse... Having been on both sides of that equation, it's not good from either angle.

I'm learning it's best to just be upfront about whatever it is and let the chips fall wherever they may... regardless of how hurtful or embarrassing it might be. Not easy... trust me on this one.

I actually kind of like him...

Now, I will admit that Elmo has not ever been my favorite steed to ride. He's not very athletic and his trot is like a jack-hammer...

But, he's been good... dare I say pleasant?... to ride since I've gotten him here at the coast. Typically I have to monitor everything he's doing and he wanders around like a drunken sailor, calling out to anyone who will listen and then prancing around like an idiot once he does. Not fun.

Since I've had him here, I've been able to ride him on a loose rein (except when in the grass) and have been able to enjoy the outings. Yes, he's announced his presence a time or two but then walked calmly on. I'm wondering what went on out there at Farmer's place? He's not the same horse... maybe the aliens got to him?

A little more rein, please.... I can almost reach the grass.

View of the ocean from the top of the hill I ride...

It was probably the nicest day we've had here at the coast yesterday. Clear, warm and sunny and no wind. It was an awesome day for a ride. Even with Elmo...

Is it just me?

I've been venturing into the always amusing, sometimes frightening, world of internet dating. And I'm starting to wonder if it's just me.

In my profile I am very upfront about the fact that I am not just looking for the quick hook-up. Some have actually read the profile and understand this point. Some, not so much. They seem genuinely surprised when I don't immediately favor the idea of them coming to visit and spend the night. Um, don't know you. Not really jazzed about showing you where I live even if I were into the speedy hook-up. I mean, if that's what you're really after the least you can do is spring for a hotel room (all the other girls looking for the quick hook-up can thank me now).

Anywho, there are a few I have met that kind of get this and are respectful of the idea, which I like. A lot. And when I was telling a co-worker about one, she asked me if I was really into him. And the answer was... not sure. Too soon to tell.

Trust me. This was a revelation to both of us. It seems that the days of instant chemistry are gone. Which is good, in my opinion. After all, I'm pretty sure that "instant chemistry" is just another word for lust. And I'm really getting too old for all that silly bullshit. I'm not looking for surface lust that only sustains in the bedroom (and not long, at that)... I'm looking for something much deeper. And way more meaningful.

And it means I am finally at the adult stage of "wait and see what develops". Hey, I'm stoked about this. Really. You have no idea how hard I have worked to get here. My mind doesn't immediately jump to the future. I am content to see how things play out day-to-day... or even week-to-week. I don't even have a need to hear from them on a daily basis. Bonus if I do, not soul-crushing if I don't... or even cause for concern, really.

I think I'm finally a grown-up. Or maybe just growing up...

Does not play well with others...

No, no, no. Not me... Daisy.

Well, you're always blogging about the other dog. What about me?

Daisy, it's hard to get pictures of you because you're always so far away...

See? Too far... We can hardly see you.

Well, is this better?

That's a little too close...

What about this?

 

Or this? This is my good side as you can plainly see.

Except your crappy photo makes it look like I have a foot sprouting from my chin...

Not your best work, mom.

As you know, when we go to the beach all Noelle wants to do is chase the ball. Daisy, on the other hand has made it her mission to make this as difficult as possible for Noelle. Every time Noelle takes off after the ball, Daisy chases her down and tackles her...

Run fat, white dog so I may tackle you...

I will get you!! Come back here...

Mom, Daisy is annoying. Can't you make her go away?

Fine. I'm just going to lay on the ball then...

The funny thing is that Daisy doesn't really want the ball. In fact, she could care less about it. She just wants to tackle Noelle while she's trying to retrieve it. Silly dog...

However, when it's all said and done they still love each other.

Mom, Daisy's touching me. Am not. Are too. Am not...

Ah, family bliss at the beach. Gotta love it...

Strange...

Is the best way to describe this weekend, I think.

It started out normal enough. Lab and I got together on Friday night and enjoyed an adult beverage, some good conversation and a good view of the bay.

When I got up on Saturday morning, it was pouring rain. Yuck!! I ran up and fed Elmo and then immediately put my jammies back on and hopped into bed to catch up on some TV. Figured if the weather was going to be that crappy, I might as well stay snuggled up in bed.

At 4pm I got a phone call from my hay guy saying he was on his way to make the delivery. Say what?? He wasn't supposed to be coming until Monday at 5pm. So I got up, put on my barn clothes and headed out to meet him and stack the hay. So much for my day of leisure...

Stack faster mom... I'm hungry.

Just as I was finishing that up, Jonesie called me up and we decided to have a get-together and watch a couple of movies. Jonesie brought his pup, Buddy... a very cute, but very large pit bull.

Look at that sweet face...

Daisy didn't mind him visiting. Noelle, on the other hand, would try to bite his nose off anytime he got within a few feet of her. Buddy didn't seem to get the hint...

Why you no like me? I like you...

After a few hours, Buddy decided it was time to go home. He started pestering Jonesie, who in turn ignored him. Buddy got fed up with that and then promptly peed on my floor and then walked to the door and announced it was timetogohomerightnow.

Needless to say, we didn't finish the second movie. Oh well... 

By that time, it was pretty late so he headed home and I decided to jump on the computer really quickly to finish up a scrabble game. That's when Alaska popped up on my Skype screen calling me. I, foolishly, answered. He was drunk-skyping me... 

After a 1/2 hour of some very interesting conversation (and an almost unintentional peep show) I decided it was time to go to bed. So we signed off and just as I was about to drift off my phone rang. It was Hilt calling me on his way home from the bar... again, drunk. Not sure what kind of vibe I was putting out on Saturday night, but all my friends (who had been drinking) decided ringing me up would be a good idea...

Finally Hilt got on the bus and it was too loud to hear anything so we signed off for the night. At that point I put my phone on silent, just in case, and finally drifted off to sleep.

On Sunday when I got up at 7:30am it was still raining. Yuck!! I ran up and fed Elmo and then went back to bed since I had been up until 2:30am the following evening/very early morning.

When I woke up around 1pm, there wasn't a cloud...

well, OK... there was only 1 cloud in the sky. It was time to go out and have some fun in the sun... soak up the vitamin D, if you will.

The pups and I headed down to the beach to see the big waves being caused by the storm surge. We saw several people get hosed down by sneaker waves... which is why I always wear flip-flops.

After that, I decided to get Elmo out for a ride. The weather was too nice not to. And Elmo, always up for a buffet, was happy to go along with the plan...

Hello from the top of the hill...

When I got home from the awesome ride (Elmo stayed on his feet and only announced his presence to the world twice on the ride) I got home and heard the news that the Oakland Raiders had beaten the San Diego Chargers. What?!? Crazy!!

Not the weekend I had planned at all. But still a good one...

WTF - the annoying edition...

Welcome to WTF - the annoying edition... a collection of crap that really annoys the poo out of me.

You mean like people who won't throw the ball when I want?

That annoys the poo out of me...

First up: People who don't tip well. 

This is probably my biggest annoyance. Being an ex-bartender, I know firsthand how hard these people work for their money. Now let me just throw in this caveat: if the joint isn't hoppin' and you still get crappy service, by all means tip the 5% or 10% they might have earned. However, if you can see that your server (of drinks, food or whatever) is working their butt off, you'd best tip well. And I'm not talking 15%... I'm talking at least 20%. And if you can afford the meal but not the tip, then you can't afford the meal either. That's just part and parcel of the price. Budget for it and don't be one of those people... it's really annoying.

Second: People who think that the whole road was made just for them.

Listen up, road hogs. There is a reason why those yellow lines exist. You stay on your side. I stay on mine... no one gets hurt or killed. Simple as that. Why these people can't figure that simple concept out is beyond me. Semi drivers seem to be the worst offenders. Maybe because they are the biggest thing on the road? Either way, not cool... not only that, it makes it look like you can't drive for shit. I mean you are professional drivers, right? Act like it...

Third: Fog lights.

I know a lot of drivers have a hard time grasping this concept, so I'm going to really dumb it down for you. Fog lights are made for... you guessed it, fog. Fog lights are not made for you to drive around with on 24/7 because you are too lazy to turn your brights on and off as traffic passes. From now on, when I see you asshats driving around with your fog lights on I will be turning on my brights and leaving them on. You have been warned... 

Lastly (at least as far as this blog is concerned): Men who don't understand what courtship and dating are all about.

There seem to be a lot of men out there that have had it way too easy for far too long. They think that after one meal and a little flirtation that I should just be enamored with them and automatically fall into bed with them. Newsflash: not happening. And even after being very upfront about this, I still am surprised when they are shocked that I'm not going to sleep with them after a date or two. I'm going old-school people... courtship and dating are sexy. Sex is not the end goal... a good relationship with someone is. And no matter how much you whine and beg, you're not even going to know the location of my abode until I know you... well.

Whatever... just throw the ball. Kthx.

What to do?

The last few days have been trying, to say the least...

Personal and professional issues have been swamping me. And even though I have tried my best to just let everything sort itself out I am still facing the same decision now as when I first moved here to the coast. It is a dead end. Professionally and personally.

I have been here just a few weeks shy of a year now and it's never been more clear to me that there is absolutely no way for me to get ahead... any tiny financial set-back ends up affecting me for months. But, it is a job. I was hoping I could possibly find another part-time job, but the fact that I can end up working until 10pm here at the paper makes it almost impossible. I would need something very flexible and as of yet I haven't found anything that fits that description...

So time for the pros and cons list...

Pros:
1. Like I said, it is a job... and therefore a steady paycheck.
2. I love what I do and (for the most part) the people I work with.
3. I love living here at the coast.
4. I have a great set-up for Elmo and hay is cheap here.

Cons:
1. The money isn't much... just covers expenses (and sometimes not). I live paycheck to paycheck with no savings and no hope of getting anything saved up.
2. The weather can be trying at times.
3. My rent is expensive for what I get.
4. The social aspect here is kind of rough.
5. There is no way to get a raise or move up in the company.

Numbers 1 and 5 on the cons list are possibly the most disturbing. I feel like I've done a decent job of treading water, but now I'm starting to sink and it feels like it's time to make a decision as to what to do.

I'll be thinking about this for the next few days... I hope I hear an answer if one is presented to me.

Elmo: The introduction...

As you may or may not be aware, Elmo is now at the coast with me.

Flash is now living the life of a leisure pasture-puff in one of Farmer's extensive pastures. Tentative word on the street is that he's starting to put on some weight. Yay!!

Anywho, now that Elmo is here with me I thought that I would give you a little introduction. After all, other than me trying to kill him (and vice-versa) last summer, I really haven't said much about my obese butterball... er, horse.

So, without further ado: Elmo...

Aren't I the cutest thing on this planet?

Sydney, what are you doing here? This is not a blog about you...

It's not? Well, it should be...

 

Pardon Sydney. Ally's cat just can't help but get in the middle of things sometimes. OK, let's try this again... 

So, without further ado: Elmo...

Wait. She called me a butterball? I'm just big-boned...

Elmo is my big, goofy, red horse (hence the name). He actually arrived at my house with the name Jazz, but within minutes I realized that name was just not going to do. It didn't fit him... at all. So for the first few days I had him he went by "hey, stoopid". That probably would have been fine, except when I called him a bunch of neighborhood kids would show up as well, confused that I wasn't calling them.

The problem of his name sorted itself out when, a few days later, my crusty old shoer came to pay us a visit. When I led out my new steed the shoer snorted and said "Wow. He's such an Elmo..." and it stuck. Yes, he was such an Elmo. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. But always and forever an Elmo.

Elmo came to me because the people who owned him before me would immediately put him away anytime he made a fuss about anything. Being a very lazy horse, he soon realized that if he acted bad he didn't have to work. Good for him. Bad for the previous owners. And made for some interesting rides early on in our relationship.

For the first few months, every time I took him out for a ride he would rear, buck and just generally make an ass out of himself. The bucking and general assiness went away pretty quickly once he figured out that if he did those things I was going to make him work. Hard. However, the rearing remained. When he got scared he would lock up and go straight up in the air. I was mystified as how to fix this. Enter old crusty shoer again, who suggested that the next time his feet came off the ground to break an egg over his head. 

He reared. I broke an egg on his noggin. His feet hit the ground and he just stood there with egg on his face wondering what the hell just happened. Never had a rearing problem again...

He actually became a decent riding horse.

However, he is not the most athletic equine I've ever ridden or owned. 

Riding Flash is like driving a sports car. 0 to 60 fast. Excellent braking capabilities. Able to turn on a dime...

Well, look at me. I'm built for speed...

Riding Elmo is like driving a semi-truck. Slow to get started, with many gears to go through before reaching top speed 35. Hard to stop once going. And needs planning and a wide berth when making any type of turn... 

Who me? I know not of what you speak...

Once when the horses were tearing around the pasture, Flash executed the perfect sliding stop and whipped around at top speed again heading in the opposite direction. Elmo, seeing the maneuver, also tried to make the turn... and although his head whipped around, the rest of him kept right on going the other direction. Right through the fence.

Let's just say, I was forever fixing fence that "frank the tank" was crashing through due to the fact that he had misjudged a turn, once again.

That, and he can't stay upright either. He falls on his face constantly. The fact that he's now missing part of his chest due to a horrible infection that almost killed him doesn't help. 

Flash is very fastidious in where he puts any of his hoofies at any given time. Mud? No way. Sand changed color? Must investigate. Dark spot of the pavement? Must be avoided at all costs. Narrow trail? Hugs the uphill side with a vengeance.

Elmo, on the other hand, isn't even aware that he has feet... let alone where they might be at any given time. He's like a 4x4. Point him at something and he goes over (or through) it. Handy, except when on narrow trails... then a tad frightening when coupled with the penchant for falling on his face.

He also thinks the world is his buffet... Like Noelle, he is of the firm belief that everything is edible.

Nom, nom, nom...

Hey, I'm busy eating here... Do you mind?

For the most part he is a good boy. Quirky, but good. For the most part...

Look I'm a saint...

Just don't fall on me, tubby. Kthx...

And I'm sure we'll have a good time together this winter while Flash recovers at Farmer's...

Life is too short...

Last night I got word that one of my parent's dear friends had passed away. He was a good, good man and he will be dearly missed by all those who knew and loved him dearly...

And his death brings me face-to-face with a sobering reality. Life is too short. And you never know when your time will be up...

I need to stop putting things off and make sure that today is a good day.

Tomorrow will sort itself out how it will, but today is what is important. And all too often I get so caught up in tomorrow that I completely forget about today. It's a very big fault of mine. And one that I'm going to try to actively change.

Starting with this: It's a beautiful day today. Elmo, the pups and I will be heading out to enjoy the sunshine a little later. And I can't think of a better way to "seize the day"...

I like it...

Got a suggestion today for a name-change that I really liked... so I'm going with it.

Welcome to 30-something and Single... Enjoy.

(PS... Thanks Hedgehog... love the name)

Goodbye...

Yesterday was a strange kind of day.

There were no bells. No whistles. No fan-fare of any kind... The one thing I wanted to do (get a pedicure) I wasn't able to do because the salon, for the first time since I've lived here, was actually busy.

I briefly chatted with most of my family. Some sent texts or well-wishes on facebook. Bff called after a very busy day to chat with me for a bit. My plans to do a little dancing at the casino fell through. But Hilt, Wheel and Engineer kept me busy by text or yahoo chat for a while through the evening. Ally and Howie had me over for dinner and a little celebratory champagne.

And I made up a new word in honor of the day... Piratical: characteristic of a pirate.

What surprised me the most was who I didn't hear from... one had an excuse. One didn't.

I knew I wouldn't hear from Farmer because he sent me a text on Friday letting me know he was going off grid to hunt. However, it would have been nice to hear a "happy birthday" from him before he left. But after last weekend, the fact that he's even speaking to me is a good enough gift for me.



Wulfe, on the other hand, is another story. He knew I was feeling a little melancholy about my impending birthday because it seemed that everyone was either busy or unavailable. And he is like I am... he gets very sad when he feels he has been forgotten on the special occasions. And yet, no phone call. No text. No message on facebook. He's supposed to be a good friend. Someone who cares about my feelings. Instead, when I sent him a text at 9pm saying it was pretty crappy of him to forget my birthday, instead of immediately picking up the phone and calling he sent me this text back: Sorry. Was really busy today and forgot. Happy Birthday.

Really. That's all you've got? I'm pretty sure I don't need friends like you. Period.

The sad thing is this... he and I are very similar, so I know he knows what a crappy thing that was to do. And he still didn't care. Kind of like with ex-hub, I wasn't important enough to make an effort.

Time to cut the deadwood dragging me down...

Is it that time?

Well, it's that unfortunate day of the year when I officially turn a year older. So, I am no longer "36 and Single". I am now 38 and single. And after last weekend I remember why I am single. Ex-hub is lucky he made it through that trip without me killing him...

I started this blog a few years ago for a couple of reasons. 1. I wanted to get back at the Biologist... petty, yes. Therapeutic? Hell yes. 2. I felt by putting my "trials and tribulations" out there I might be able to help others and have them help me.

#1 was hit and miss. It was therapeutic... it did not get back at the Biologist quite like I had hoped. Meh... 1 for 2 isn't bad.

#2 I feel was more on target. I've gotten many comments over the last few years that have made me think (or rethink) about something that was going on in my life.

I know flip-flop does not always appreciate what I put out here. I've tried to make it a more family-friendly type blog and write about the good, the bad and the silly that goes on in my life. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I fail. But I always write about what goes on (for the most part) in my head. I can't put it all out here... that might get me committed to some mental institution.

Anywho... where was I?

Oh yes! My birthday. Last year was kind of a traumatic birthday. Farmer and I had just split and there was a lot going on in my pea-brain.

This year, even though I really have no plans, I am in a much better place. Typically I've been the type of person that gets upset when there are no plans on, what to me is, a big day. I think I've come to realize that it just doesn't matter that much. I mean something to these people and they show me on that on a daily basis... and that is good enough for me.

So the question then, is this... do I need to change the name of the blog? And what the heck would I call it if I did change the name?

I honestly didn't expect to enjoy writing it as much as I do. And I certainly didn't think it would go on for a year, much less a couple...

So it's time for you all to weigh in and let me know what you think. Keep the name? Change the name? If change it, then to what? Let me know...

The "infamous Idaho trip of '10" - Part III

The final chapter...

Saturday, September 25:

At 7pm, ex-hub and I decided to hit the road and not wait until Sunday morning. In retrospect, it was a good decision...

As we started out on the highway (with no tail lights) we were heading south at that point. We were heading into the wind a bit and boy was it really rocking the heavy camper. Any time I ventured over 45 the truck would start to rock back and forth.... not good. And the people flying by us were mystified over the slow speed (it's 75mph there). I just tried to keep it in the middle of the lane and not be killed. Thank goodness it was still fairly light out and I wasn't worried about anyone really running into the back of us.

Then we turned West and headed for home. Eventually I got used to the way the truck felt with the heavy camper and trailer and was able to push the speed up to 55 - 60. Anytime I got over 60 though it would start to rock. So, I wisely kept it under that speed and just resigned myself to a very long drive.

Eventually it got dark, but there was a full moon that night and my trailer is white, so I figured it wasn't too bad running without tail lights. I figured if anyone ran into the back of me at that point that lights really weren't going to make a difference anyway.

In Burley, we decided to brave the ridiculous construction again because I needed a little food and my new favorite beverage... a caramel frappé from McD's. Bad I know, but just enough caffeine that it gives me a jolt without making me sick (I have an aversion to caffeine).

After getting back on the road, for the most part the drive went pretty well... but sloooow. I had no idea how slow 55mph actually was. It's slow. The big rig drivers were passing me like I was standing still and every time they did I about got pushed off the road. That's a lot of air going by you, when you think about it. The trick was not to make any sudden moves and then the truck and trailer were fine.

I tried to follow the big rig protocols and give a little flash when they had clearance to get back in my lane. Most seemed to appreciate it. Some, not so much... one tried to run me off the road. Either he was asleep at the wheel or really didn't care for my not-s0-illuminated back end. Tough to tell...

Sunday, September 26:

Eventually we got to Boise. At that point I wasn't sure what time it was, but it was damn early (or late, take your pick) and I was ready for a nap. Ex-hub lobbied to get a room, but I wanted to just grab a quick nap and hit the road again. I figured I had come this far, why not just push through all the way? And, of course, all the driving was up to me because ex-hub can't drive a stick. Yeah. Seriously. He can't...

After a quick nap it was time to get back on the road. All went well until about 30 miles out of Pendleton. There is a hill... well, a mountain actually. It's called Cabbage Hill, but it's a mountain. I was terrified of going down Cabbage Hill with that much weight on my truck. About 10 miles out from the top of the hill I started sweating. About 5 miles out I had to pull over and make a road-side pit stop.

At the top of the hill I decided that I was putting the truck in 3rd and not going any faster than 30mph down the hill (I'm sure Farmer is chuckling over this). The semis were flying past me like I was standing still... which didn't help the situation. By the time we were at the bottom of the hill I was in a full-blown sweat. And so close to Farmer's I could almost see his house.

When we rolled in it was about 6:30am. At that point I had been up for 26 hours with only 45 minutes of sleep. I went for my bed, ex-hub headed for home...

After a couple of hours I decided it was time to get up and deal with what was left... which was: take the camper off the truck, unload the trailer, pack up the camper with the boxes in the trailer and then put the furniture coming back to the coast with me in the bed of the truck. I went outside, looked at the truck and trailer and everything that still had to happen and had a melt-down. Farmer was not impressed.

He's the type of guy who sees no reason to cry about what has to be done. He just gets it done. At that point, I needed to just have a melt-down before I was able to pull it together and dig into what needed to be done. And, of course, I felt horrible that Farmer was the one stuck helping me do it all, instead of ex-hub (who by that time was home and tucked into his bed, sleeping). Farmer put on a brave face, but I could tell he had better things to do.

After a few hours we got everything where it should be... me dragging the whole way. Then it was time to grab Elmo and hit the road.

I had no problem catching Elmo, loading him was another story entirely. Once again I had to call Farmer for help (I'm sure he didn't want to answer his phone, but he's a good friend. He answered). After getting Elmo in the trailer I was finally on the road. It was around 4:30pm by that time.

As I headed into the gorge, it started raining... hard. Unfortunately I hadn't tarped up the furniture in the bed of my truck. So, I pulled down an exit ramp and began to tarp up. It was pretty wet and rainy but of course no one stopped to help even though several cars rolled by me on the exit checking out what I was doing. Typical.

Finally I think I have it tied down well enough and I head back out on the highway. I was wrong. I pulled over and began to tie it down. Yet again. With big trucks trying to kill me while I was at it. I get it tied down again and pull back out onto the road. And just as I get up to speed the windshield wiper on the off side pops off. CRAP!!

I hurridly pull over again, and am able to rescue the windshield wiper before it falls off onto the highway. I get it reattached and then attempt to get back on the road again. By this time it's about 5:45pm and the traffic has really picked up. It took me another 20 minutes to get into the flow of traffic again...

By then I was worn out and frustrated. I called bff and was lamenting to her the cost of the trip, both financially and emotionally. She asked to meet me in Wilsonville so I could drop off a pair of pants that she had left at my house the previous weekend.

We meet up on the exit and bff has a surprise for me. She had gone grocery shopping and had bought a few things for me because she knew I wouldn't do it myself. I was so grateful to her that I cried... well, I probably cried because I was so tired too, but whatever. It was an awesome gesture.

I got back on the road and finally rolled into the coast at around 10:30pm. I got Elmo unloaded and settled, got a lift home from Mower (the furniture was going into his place so no reason to drive the truck and trailer home until it got unloaded) and crawled into the shower.

For a few solid minutes the water ran brown. I needed a shower... badly. By the time I crawled out and into bed it was almost midnight.

I was never, ever so glad to be in my own bed again... and never, ever so grateful to be done with a trip...