Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Is it just me?

I've been venturing into the always amusing, sometimes frightening, world of internet dating. And I'm starting to wonder if it's just me.

In my profile I am very upfront about the fact that I am not just looking for the quick hook-up. Some have actually read the profile and understand this point. Some, not so much. They seem genuinely surprised when I don't immediately favor the idea of them coming to visit and spend the night. Um, don't know you. Not really jazzed about showing you where I live even if I were into the speedy hook-up. I mean, if that's what you're really after the least you can do is spring for a hotel room (all the other girls looking for the quick hook-up can thank me now).

Anywho, there are a few I have met that kind of get this and are respectful of the idea, which I like. A lot. And when I was telling a co-worker about one, she asked me if I was really into him. And the answer was... not sure. Too soon to tell.

Trust me. This was a revelation to both of us. It seems that the days of instant chemistry are gone. Which is good, in my opinion. After all, I'm pretty sure that "instant chemistry" is just another word for lust. And I'm really getting too old for all that silly bullshit. I'm not looking for surface lust that only sustains in the bedroom (and not long, at that)... I'm looking for something much deeper. And way more meaningful.

And it means I am finally at the adult stage of "wait and see what develops". Hey, I'm stoked about this. Really. You have no idea how hard I have worked to get here. My mind doesn't immediately jump to the future. I am content to see how things play out day-to-day... or even week-to-week. I don't even have a need to hear from them on a daily basis. Bonus if I do, not soul-crushing if I don't... or even cause for concern, really.

I think I'm finally a grown-up. Or maybe just growing up...

1 comment:

  1. I feel the same way. I wasn't sure if it was because I'm divorced and the reality of marriage kicked my butt (versus the "ideal" of marriage which I wanted my entire life up until then).

    I believe the internet dating experience is geographical, though. I had to fend off a lot of those quick-hook up type messages when I lived in the city, but now that I'm back out in the country, most the guys are very respectful. Problem is they all want a serious relationship immediately and I want to take things slow. Seems there's no where that's in-between land....