Wednesday, October 27, 2010

What is old-fashioned, anyway?

In my online profile it says: Personally I'm looking to take my time and really get to know someone. I think old-fashioned ideals are very sexy and that most men (and women, too, I suppose) are looking to jump into bed way too quickly for my taste.

So I got a message last night asking me how I defined old-fashioned ideals.

That, sir, is a very good question...

My take on it is this: so many people confuse intimacy with sex. You can have intimacy with sex, but they are not one and the same... A lot of people (men and women, I'm not discriminating) have sex with no intimacy. It's just a physical act. There is no deeper connection, no real meaning behind the act itself.

I want to slow it down and have an actual connection to someone... hold hands, enjoy really getting to know someone, kissing (one of my favorite things), secret looks when in a large group, love notes... all the small stuff that makes it special. Not just the same ol', same ol'.

It seems like so many are in a rush to get into the bedroom... like there is a finish line and that is it. What a lot of men don't understand is that isn't the finish line, that's just the next step in something really fantastic... if you've taken the time to really connect to that person.

I think this foundation is what makes a relationship successful. And in a society that is so fast and so accustomed to instant gratification, I think this idea of nurturing a real connection gets lost. We are in such a hurry, we forget that taking the time is worth the effort put in.

So, I think face-to-face time is the most important thing... how else are you really going to get to know that person? Email, text and phone are all very well, but how are you going to know if there is a spark unless you actually spend some time together in real life?

So, that's what I'm going to try to do as I move forward with this crazy internet dating scene. It's time to get face-to-face and see what's really out there...


  1. Getting face to face is always a great Idea :) and going slow is not such a bad Idea... it appears to be working for me this time :)

  2. Do you have a favorite internet dating site?

  3. Favorite? No. They all suck butt. But I use POF because it's free...

  4. Good luck, SweetPea! I am living vicariously through your blog at the moment having retired from internet dating because I couldn't hack it! I think your 'go slow' approach is the right one and I hope you meet someone awesome! (and write about it :-))
    - Cindy

  5. Thanks Cindy... I'm trying to hold out hope and not be pessimistic (as Farmer always accuses me of being). And don't worry... regardless of what happens you'll hear all about it.

    Good luck to you when you decide to get back in the game. It's a jungle out there... really!!

  6. haha! I've already made the blog.. eep!

    connection, face time.. hmm. have you read "five love languages?"

  7. "Five love languages"... nope, not familiar with that one. Was it a good read? And what love language am I speaking? Inquiring minds want to know...

    Oh, and welcome to the blog :) Hope you stick around... LOL